Insides Out

As humans, we are captivated by stories. We get lost in books and movies (and unfortunately reality TV), as we witness conflict, love and betrayal, tragedy and hope in other people's lives. We look for windows into their world and watch with anticipation as they face and respond to challenges. We are interested in how they are similar and different from us. Their stories can help us make sense of our own lives and world. God created us that way. That's why the Bible is written as a story, and one reason Jesus spoke in parables. Is it any wonder that the Bible is the world's best seller? I mean, when the author is also our Creator...

This is also why blogs are so popular. We love it when people lay their guts on the table for everyone to see. It moves us emotionally. It draws us back. It motivates us. It helps shape who we are as we agree with, disagree with, learn from, and are challenged by what we read. I like to consider my blog a ministry. I put my insides out there for others to see in hopes that it will help them (you) in some small way. But, unfortunately, due to time, my posts have become little more than a journal of Beulah's development. Of course, that's important, and I love doing it! Her development is ridiculously fascinating to me and maybe a handful of other people (like our parents and other out-of-state relatives), but perhaps not the majority of my followers.

I miss exposing my guts. It's therapy for me. It forces me to reflect and consider why I think and feel the way I do. Over the past year I have drafted 23 posts that have yet to be published. The drafts cover a wide range: sanctification through families, relationship changes after baby, the Holy Spirit as Counselor, breast-feeding, fear, selfishness, good books, PPD (postpartum depression), and many more. I write them in my head, but haven't found the time to put them down in black and white. Sometimes I come to blogger and simply write a title and one or two lines to remind me later where I was going in my head. But, it's time I go back and start hashing some of them out. To my faithful followers, hold on. There will be guts exposed over the next several months.

Interestingly, some of the posts are complete. But, before I hit the "publish" button, "something" told me to wait. I hadn't learned all I needed to learn on the topic yet. Of course, publishing a blog post doesn't make anyone an expert on the topic, but I at least like to think I'm sharing something well thought out that might be of value to someone else when I finally publish it. At this point though, I'm learning so much so fast, that the posts seem to morph before my eyes. So, I realize that I'm going to have to publish posts with the knowledge that there is more learning on the topic in my future. I've closed the book on infertility (Hallelujah!). I feel like God taught me a lot through those six long years, and I felt confident sharing it. But, now I feel like I've entered a world where the book will remain open and require multiple revisions over a lifetime. And, I look forward to baring my soul to you along the way.