There I sat with a sleeping baby in my arms. Thus began the anxious dance of putting her down without waking her up. If you've been there, you KNOW what I'm talking about. Exhausted, you will do ANYTHING to make the transfer from your arms to the crib successful. And if it is, you stand by the crib holding your breath for the next several minutes, praying she won't realize what you've done, causing you to have to start the lengthy dance over again. Is this how everybody does it? If so, is it as maddening to you as it was to me?! Well, I guess when you have to do it upwards of five times a night, anybody would go mad.
The problem for us from the beginning was that Beulah's sucking reflex triggered sleep; whether while nursing or taking a bottle. Maybe it's that way for all newborns. I did everything suggested to keep her awake while nursing, but to no avail. This was only reinforced when Beulah's gas was really bad and we had a hard time getting her to eat. On many occasions, we had to walk around the house with her until she was relaxed and almost asleep, and then I would nurse her to sleep. Sometimes this was the only way to get food in her. While she nursed, she would pass the gas because she was so relaxed. So, after much frustration in trying to keep her awake, we gave in and committed to the dance. At times, when I was really tired, it would make me crazy. Other times, I had to laugh at how silly we looked trying to stand and walk without shifting our weight or body position so as to alert her to our trickery. The dance was complicated by the fact that if we didn't put the paci in her mouth as soon as we laid her down, she would wake up. She had to be sucking on something at all times. So, when the paci fell out, we had to go in and replace it...that is, if she hadn't woken up so much that we had to start over again. We dreamt up ways of keeping the paci in her mouth, but none of them would have passed a safety inspection. So, we kept putting the dumb thing back in until she was too asleep to notice it had fallen out.
Beulah started sleeping in her car seat (as advised by the pediatric nurse) early on because of her reflux. During that time, she only woke once a night. That was very manageable. But, at around 3 months, we had to get her out of the car seat. We wanted to make the transition easier by providing a place for her to sleep that would help her to feel secure and cozy. So, we let her sleep on her contoured changing pad in the crib and used a small wedge to slightly raise her upper body. We quickly learned that sleeping flat on her back was not one of Beulah's gifts. When she had gas (and because of her breech position in the womb), her legs would fly up in the air and wake her up. Sometimes she would have only been asleep for about 15 minutes when this would happen. Swaddling her just made her mad. I even tried to put her down on her stomach, but that freaked her out and she cried. This is when the insomnia began for me.
During the day, if I put her down, she'd wake up after 20 minutes or less. If she only got sleep in 20 minute intervals, by the end of the day, she (and I) would be overtired and therefore had an even harder time falling asleep. So, many days I held her while she slept. That way, she could sleep an average of two hours. But, what was I doing during this time? NOTHING! Sure, I was bonding with my baby. But, the anxiety about the things I could be doing increased as the hours passed. If I could, I would have slept too. But, unfortunately, that was a rare occasion. I'm a very light sleeper and hear every little sound. I also worry about my movement waking her up. So, I lay there anxiously wishing I could turn over to get more comfortable. Besides that, it's hard for me to relax with her right next to me with all the thoughts of SIDS and suffocation running through my head. The few times I attempted it, I only reached a twilight sleep and woke frequently to make sure her airways were clear.
One night, as I lay awake, I was praying for wisdom on how to help her stay asleep in her crib. I thought it might help if we made her feel like she was still sitting like she had been in the car seat. So, I came up with the idea of folding blankets and putting them under her legs, up against her bottom, so that her legs wouldn't have as far to go when they flew up or settled down. This seemed to help...very little.
Now, here's where you're going to laugh. I can laugh about it now. At the time I didn't think it was funny at all. We started dreaming up ways of keeping her legs from flying up. So, I made a cloth rice bag to lay across her feet. We had to place it below her knees so that if her legs flew up with enough force, they wouldn't throw the rice bag onto her face and suffocate her. Can you see the ridiculous thought process we were going through? That didn't work either. She just kicked it off. So, I tried using the strap on the changing pad to hold her legs down. We were desperate. Go ahead. Laugh. It's crazy. I know. Yeah, you guessed it. That didn't work either. It was time for a change.
Andy can sleep through anything. So, at that point, I moved into the guest bedroom and we moved Beulah's changing pad to our bed. Andy would sleep next to her with his hand on her legs, keeping them from flying up. Sometimes that worked. But, when she woke completely up, he brought her to me to nurse back to sleep. This was much more manageable, because at least I could sleep in between feedings. But, this was happening up to five times a night, and frankly, I was tired of being used as a pacifier. I desperately needed someone else to be able to put her to sleep too so that the pressure wasn't always on me to be there. After three weeks of living like this, we had both had it. Our family was not healthy. We were all exhausted and committed to doing whatever it took to change this situation. Why did we wait so long? Because if she was waking due to pain, we wanted to comfort her to let her know we are there when she needs us. We couldn't bear the thought of her suffering alone.
First, we read up on all the ways you can train your baby to sleep. We were doing most of the techniques to encourage sleep already: a consistent bedtime routine, familiar sounds and sights in her room each night, keeping the lights off for nighttime feedings, etc. But, here's the breakdown of the problems we were having.
* Beulah couldn't put herself to sleep. She relied on us to sooth her back to sleep when she woke.
* The paci. Enough said.
* Being put down asleep caused her to be scared and confused when she woke, so she sought comfort from us.
* Frequent waking was hurting the whole family.
* Co-sleeping was not an option because I wouldn't rest well.
We were already doing a great deal of what "no-tears" proponents recommend, and they were not working for us. If we were to stick to that method, it would take a considerable amount of time, and we didn't have a lot of time. We were falling apart. Our first goal was to un-do her need to suck to sleep, and that was not going to happen without some tears. If we had been able to keep her awake while feeding from the beginning, I believe the no-cry method could have worked. But, that wasn't the case.
One desperate night, Andy and I were awake searching the internet (separately, and without the knowledge of the other), looking for solutions. I came across an audio program called The Baby Sleep Solution. It was very poorly marketed, and there weren't any reputable reviews that I could find. But, we were desperate, and hoped it might offer something that we hadn't thought of. So, we downloaded it and listened to it that day. It had a couple of ideas we hadn't heard of, but for the most part we were familiar with the suggested methods. What it DID do for us was give us courage. After listening, we realized that no matter what we did, she was going to cry. We were going to initiate a change in what she was used to and comfortable with, and she was not going to like it.
The first step in sleep training is eliminating the possibility that your baby's night waking is caused by a medical condition. We felt confident that was not the case with Beulah after 3 visits to the GI doctor who told us she would grow out of the gas problems as her system matured. We were not so concerned with having her sleep through the night at this point. Our main goal was for her to be able to fall asleep on her own. We knew that once she learned that skill, she would naturally be able to put herself back to sleep when she woke up...eventually. So, that day, I stopped letting her sleep while nursing. I had to be more animated during feedings, which was tricky because I didn't want to distract her from eating. If she got close to sleep, I stopped nursing and burped her. We also decided to switch to bottles during the night. That way, Andy could help me, and she would be less likely to wake for a bottle as opposed to the comfort of nursing. Our plan was to graduate the milk to water ratio (as suggested in The Baby Sleep Solution) over the course of several nights until she eventually got only water. Who would want to wake for that? And, most importantly, we would put her down drowsy but awake.
We divided the nights in half. One of us slept on the couch downstairs while the other was on "duty". I nursed her earlier in the bedtime routine so that she didn't fall asleep. We changed her into her PJs, read her a book, turned down the lights and turned on the sound machine. Then, we sang a song and put her in the crib.
Simply put, it sucked. As a woman who has obsessed about knowing how to meet her baby's needs when she cries, it was very difficult for me to listen and not go in and pick her up. We went in every few minutes and kissed her and told her we loved her, but we had to leave before she fell asleep. There was one saving grace. We had been given a Fisher Price crib attachment that has lights, movement and music that we had not used yet. So, the day before we started this, I attached it to the crib. When she got really upset, I started it up and she seemed comforted and entertained by it. Most times it would settle her down and she would eventually fall asleep.
As I write this, we have been working on this for 5 nights/days, and this week we feel like we have a new life! After only 2 days, I was able to put her down for a nap with no fuss. How long was the nap? TWO HOURS!!!!! Yep! Unbelievable!! Since she is aware of her surroundings when she falls asleep, if she wakes up briefly, she can fall back asleep feeling secure. And, she sleeps longer! Last night she only woke up twice, and one stretch lasted 5.5 hours!! I actually checked to make sure she was still alive! This morning when I laid her in her crib for a nap, she actually smiled! What?! Of course, sometimes she whimpers because she doesn't want to go to sleep, but it doesn't last more than 5-10 minutes, and it's never a full blown cry. Sometimes when she wakes up, she'll start playing with her feet without a peep. It's the most amazing blessing!! Do you have any idea how liberating it is to be able to put her down and not spend the next 10 minutes holding her legs down, praying she'll stay asleep, fearing that she'll wake up after only 20 mins?! For the first time since she was born, I feel like we can work towards a predictable schedule. I'm going to have to relearn how to be FREE again! I might actually get the laundry folded and put away or the dishes done or...SHOWER! Or, (gasp!) Andy and I might actually be able to go on a date since she doesn't need me to fall asleep anymore! Woo hoo!!
What about her gas? Honestly, I don't know. Maybe we had her trained to believe she needed us when she had gas. As her system has matured and she becomes a better burper, her gas seems to be decreasing along with the pain. I've heard her pass gas while she's sleeping, but now she stays asleep or goes right back to sleep instead of calling out for us. Maybe it wasn't that she was in pain when passing gas in the night to begin with. Maybe it was just that the gas woke her up and she realized she wasn't in our arms and wanted to be. Who knows? All I know is, she's sleeping better and longer, and we're all happier.
If you're a "no-cry" proponent, I know this makes you VERY uncomfortable. But, don't feel like you have to tell me all the ways we've screwed up our baby's psyche by letting her cry. Before we started this, I had already tortured myself by reading literature that opposes it. I'm sure they'd say that she doesn't cry when she has gas anymore because she's learned not to trust us since we didn't answer her cries. They'd say, she's decided that her voice is not heard and it won't make a difference if she cries anyway, so she chooses not to. Trust me, we wouldn't have let her cry if we felt like we had another choice. And, I can assure you, I am no less sensitive to her cries. As far as the trust issue goes, all I can do is give it to God. He is sovereign even over this. And, even though He allows me to cry and hurt sometimes, I still trust Him and know He is there for me. I pray it will be the same for Beulah.
Showing posts with label gassy baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gassy baby. Show all posts
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Spiritually Speaking
It's always been easy for me to have faith. Because of the profound way my life changed when I accepted the LORD, I've always believed God could do anything. Did I believe I could get pregnant after six years of infertility and one prayer? Sure! That's no problem for Him. But, lately I've found myself sounding a lot like David in Psalm 22, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent."
Day after day I watch my baby cry out in pain. Her little body has such painful gas that (so far) no prayer, chiropractor, doctor, or medicine has helped. Suddenly, my sweet smiling baby will scream out, and at times nothing and no one can comfort her. There are days when she's in so much pain that we can't get her to eat or sleep. On those days, all we can do to calm her is walk around the house carrying her for hours or take her outside. On my better days, I have so much compassion and love for her that I could walk forever just to comfort her. But after days of this or nights of her waking up every other hour, I get tired, my spirit (and body) gets weak, and I just get angry.
Since she was born, pretty much every thought in my head has been a prayer on her behalf. "God I know you love her more than I do, but as the one you've entrusted to care for this angel, I ask you to heal your child...help her to pass this gas...help her to poop...help her to sleep...give her peace...have mercy on this innocent child..." Sometimes He answers with haste, other times--silence. And, sometimes I will thank Him for something that IS going right, but immediately afterwards the opposite happens. Those days when I'm worn out and He's silent, that's when Andy comes home to a crying baby and a crying, angry wife. But, at the end of my rope, I still feel like Peter when Jesus asked His disciples if they wanted to leave after hearing a difficult teaching (John 6). Peter said, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God." There is nowhere else to turn; no one else who can help.
Because so many of my thoughts are prayers of desperation, I am fully ready to praise Him for any good, but fully ready to blame Him for any bad. I'm angry because I know He can wipe this away with a word, but He hasn't. I have never found myself in this place before. My thinking: it's fine if He doesn't answer prayers on my behalf. I can handle that. But, to refrain from answering prayers on behalf of an innocent child? Now, that's injustice! Immediately following those thoughts are prayers for forgiveness. I tell Him that I'm so sorry for thinking that way. I confess that I'm a lousy Christian and ask Him to renew my mind and give me peace through this trial. I speak back to Him His words from Isaiah 55:9, "Your ways are higher than my ways, and your thoughts are higher than my thoughts" (see also Job 38-42).
I wonder if my spirit would be so weak if I were getting enough sleep. When I'm physically exhausted, my spirit is broken. This is also hard because I'm an extrovert. But, it's easier to stay home alone because I never know when her gas is going to cause her to scream. I miss the social interaction that I used to thrive on. I don't invite people over because I get so anxious when she starts screaming, and it makes me uncomfortable to be around people. I haven't even been to the grocery store one time since she's been born because I don't want to have to leave a cart full of groceries in the middle of the store. Besides that, when her gas is really bad, if we try to feed her (breast or bottle), it looks like we're torturing her. She arches her back and screams and chokes. Who wants to do that out in public and invite looks or comments from those nearby? And, everybody wants to hold the baby, But she cries if she's not held in ways that makes her comfortable. So, my skin crawls when someone asks to hold her because I know what's going to happen. Then, when I take her and hold her in a way that I've learned makes her comfortable, she stops crying. Because of this, I've had a couple of people say that she's spoiled! And, I can't leave her in the church nursery like this. I can't expect every person in there to know "the hold" that comforts her, or to give all their attention to her when there's so many other kids to care for. So, pretty much every Sunday I go to church and end up sitting in the bathroom with her the whole time.
Now, I realize this all sounds pretty dramatic. I mean, on a scale of 0-10 (0 = a perfectly easy baby, 9 = a baby with a terminal illness, 10 = no baby) Beulah is a 1. I mean, it's only gas, right? She won't even remember this when she's older. How could some gas tear a family apart? That just sounds silly! But, I'm here to tell you--it can. I don't talk about it much because unless you've been there, you don't understand. It's like my cousin said after watching Beulah for an hour one day, "I thought you were exaggerating!" I think a lot of people think I'm exaggerating. But after spending a week with me and seeing what I go through on a daily basis, my mom has offered to come stay with me for a week every month until Beulah outgrows this.
The first time I took a car ride alone with Beulah, she was in her car seat in the back screaming her precious head off. It was the first time I didn't rush to her to meet her need. I couldn't. She started making the most pitiful, heartbroken sounds. It was killing me. I tried talking to her and telling her that everything was OK. I said, "I love you, baby. I know it doesn't look like it right now because I'm not rushing to meet your need, but I promise I love you! When we get there I'll hug you and love on you." In that moment I realized, I'm in the car seat and God is driving the car. He responded, "I love you, Michelle. I know it doesn't look like it right now because I'm not rushing to meet your need, but I promise I love you! When it's time, I'll answer your prayers." My mom got a similar message from God when she asked Him to heal Beulah. He said to her, "What if I don't want to? I have a reason for this. Just trust me."
I've tried to figure out the reason. For a while we thought it might be a spiritual attack. God got glory for Beulah's miraculous conception. What better way to steal His glory than to tear us apart after she's born? Or, maybe it's a test of faith. Will I still trust Him if my child is in pain (for more on this see Redemption Day, #2)? That could be the reason. But, last night I think He gave me my answer. God said, "You're going to spend her whole life angry at Me if you keep praying/expecting things to be perfect. This is a fallen world. She's going to experience pain and heartache. Get used to it and learn how to deal with it." Then, I realized that I've been praying all wrong. I mean, this could be so much worse than it is (see the scale from 0-10 above). Instead of asking Him to right every wrong, I need to be focusing on the bigger picture. Instead of getting angry, I need to make myself vulnerable, lay down at His feet, and trust that He has our family's best interest at heart (Jeremiah 29:11). I should be asking Him for the grace to handle what comes my way in a manner that brings glory to Him. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."
I'm thankful to have a new direction for my prayers and excited to see how God's going to grow us and use this for His glory. I've been embarrassed to talk about our struggles before now. Aren't new parents supposed to be nothing but happy? I had heard of colicky babies, but had never talked to anybody who had one. My pride wouldn't let me admit that Beulah was a difficult baby. No one wants to think their baby has a problem. And, it seemed like everyone else could handle their babies. What's wrong with me? I must not be as strong as them. But, as I've started to open up about it, I'm amazed at how many people have been through similar hardships with their infants. When I opened up to some friends about it, I told them that I felt silly being so defeated by this. One friend who had a difficult baby pulled me aside and said, "It's hard. It's OK to admit that it's hard. Just because it's not a terminal illness doesn't mean it's not hard." Thanks, Courtney. I needed that.
If you had a difficult baby, open up and reach out to new parents. Hopefully someone will be encouraged by your transparency.
Day after day I watch my baby cry out in pain. Her little body has such painful gas that (so far) no prayer, chiropractor, doctor, or medicine has helped. Suddenly, my sweet smiling baby will scream out, and at times nothing and no one can comfort her. There are days when she's in so much pain that we can't get her to eat or sleep. On those days, all we can do to calm her is walk around the house carrying her for hours or take her outside. On my better days, I have so much compassion and love for her that I could walk forever just to comfort her. But after days of this or nights of her waking up every other hour, I get tired, my spirit (and body) gets weak, and I just get angry.
Since she was born, pretty much every thought in my head has been a prayer on her behalf. "God I know you love her more than I do, but as the one you've entrusted to care for this angel, I ask you to heal your child...help her to pass this gas...help her to poop...help her to sleep...give her peace...have mercy on this innocent child..." Sometimes He answers with haste, other times--silence. And, sometimes I will thank Him for something that IS going right, but immediately afterwards the opposite happens. Those days when I'm worn out and He's silent, that's when Andy comes home to a crying baby and a crying, angry wife. But, at the end of my rope, I still feel like Peter when Jesus asked His disciples if they wanted to leave after hearing a difficult teaching (John 6). Peter said, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God." There is nowhere else to turn; no one else who can help.
Because so many of my thoughts are prayers of desperation, I am fully ready to praise Him for any good, but fully ready to blame Him for any bad. I'm angry because I know He can wipe this away with a word, but He hasn't. I have never found myself in this place before. My thinking: it's fine if He doesn't answer prayers on my behalf. I can handle that. But, to refrain from answering prayers on behalf of an innocent child? Now, that's injustice! Immediately following those thoughts are prayers for forgiveness. I tell Him that I'm so sorry for thinking that way. I confess that I'm a lousy Christian and ask Him to renew my mind and give me peace through this trial. I speak back to Him His words from Isaiah 55:9, "Your ways are higher than my ways, and your thoughts are higher than my thoughts" (see also Job 38-42).
I wonder if my spirit would be so weak if I were getting enough sleep. When I'm physically exhausted, my spirit is broken. This is also hard because I'm an extrovert. But, it's easier to stay home alone because I never know when her gas is going to cause her to scream. I miss the social interaction that I used to thrive on. I don't invite people over because I get so anxious when she starts screaming, and it makes me uncomfortable to be around people. I haven't even been to the grocery store one time since she's been born because I don't want to have to leave a cart full of groceries in the middle of the store. Besides that, when her gas is really bad, if we try to feed her (breast or bottle), it looks like we're torturing her. She arches her back and screams and chokes. Who wants to do that out in public and invite looks or comments from those nearby? And, everybody wants to hold the baby, But she cries if she's not held in ways that makes her comfortable. So, my skin crawls when someone asks to hold her because I know what's going to happen. Then, when I take her and hold her in a way that I've learned makes her comfortable, she stops crying. Because of this, I've had a couple of people say that she's spoiled! And, I can't leave her in the church nursery like this. I can't expect every person in there to know "the hold" that comforts her, or to give all their attention to her when there's so many other kids to care for. So, pretty much every Sunday I go to church and end up sitting in the bathroom with her the whole time.
Now, I realize this all sounds pretty dramatic. I mean, on a scale of 0-10 (0 = a perfectly easy baby, 9 = a baby with a terminal illness, 10 = no baby) Beulah is a 1. I mean, it's only gas, right? She won't even remember this when she's older. How could some gas tear a family apart? That just sounds silly! But, I'm here to tell you--it can. I don't talk about it much because unless you've been there, you don't understand. It's like my cousin said after watching Beulah for an hour one day, "I thought you were exaggerating!" I think a lot of people think I'm exaggerating. But after spending a week with me and seeing what I go through on a daily basis, my mom has offered to come stay with me for a week every month until Beulah outgrows this.
The first time I took a car ride alone with Beulah, she was in her car seat in the back screaming her precious head off. It was the first time I didn't rush to her to meet her need. I couldn't. She started making the most pitiful, heartbroken sounds. It was killing me. I tried talking to her and telling her that everything was OK. I said, "I love you, baby. I know it doesn't look like it right now because I'm not rushing to meet your need, but I promise I love you! When we get there I'll hug you and love on you." In that moment I realized, I'm in the car seat and God is driving the car. He responded, "I love you, Michelle. I know it doesn't look like it right now because I'm not rushing to meet your need, but I promise I love you! When it's time, I'll answer your prayers." My mom got a similar message from God when she asked Him to heal Beulah. He said to her, "What if I don't want to? I have a reason for this. Just trust me."
I've tried to figure out the reason. For a while we thought it might be a spiritual attack. God got glory for Beulah's miraculous conception. What better way to steal His glory than to tear us apart after she's born? Or, maybe it's a test of faith. Will I still trust Him if my child is in pain (for more on this see Redemption Day, #2)? That could be the reason. But, last night I think He gave me my answer. God said, "You're going to spend her whole life angry at Me if you keep praying/expecting things to be perfect. This is a fallen world. She's going to experience pain and heartache. Get used to it and learn how to deal with it." Then, I realized that I've been praying all wrong. I mean, this could be so much worse than it is (see the scale from 0-10 above). Instead of asking Him to right every wrong, I need to be focusing on the bigger picture. Instead of getting angry, I need to make myself vulnerable, lay down at His feet, and trust that He has our family's best interest at heart (Jeremiah 29:11). I should be asking Him for the grace to handle what comes my way in a manner that brings glory to Him. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."
I'm thankful to have a new direction for my prayers and excited to see how God's going to grow us and use this for His glory. I've been embarrassed to talk about our struggles before now. Aren't new parents supposed to be nothing but happy? I had heard of colicky babies, but had never talked to anybody who had one. My pride wouldn't let me admit that Beulah was a difficult baby. No one wants to think their baby has a problem. And, it seemed like everyone else could handle their babies. What's wrong with me? I must not be as strong as them. But, as I've started to open up about it, I'm amazed at how many people have been through similar hardships with their infants. When I opened up to some friends about it, I told them that I felt silly being so defeated by this. One friend who had a difficult baby pulled me aside and said, "It's hard. It's OK to admit that it's hard. Just because it's not a terminal illness doesn't mean it's not hard." Thanks, Courtney. I needed that.
If you had a difficult baby, open up and reach out to new parents. Hopefully someone will be encouraged by your transparency.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Beulah's First 12 weeks
Beulah is 12 weeks old. I can't believe it! As I was putting away her newborn sized clothes, I was amazed at how TINY she was and how much she's grown! She's around 12 lbs now and growing!
We've decided that she has her daddy's facial features with my facial muscle structure and shape. She is very expressive, like me, crinkling her eye brows and nose. As you can see from the pictures and video below, she's got such a happy disposition and a smile that will melt your heart. The only time she's not smiling is when she has gas pain. Seriously, she even smiles in her sleep (see pics)! And, in the middle of the night when I change her diaper and put her back down, she's always flashing smiles. I think it's her way of trying to get me to stay up and play...tempting!
Speaking of playtime, she loves her floor gym, especially the hanging monkey. She laughs at him, the hanging bumblebee on her swing, and the ceiling fans. I caught her having a riveting conversation with the bee the other day. Too cute! She doesn't like tummy time too much, but loves her daily anatomy lesson. I start at her toes, and with my silly voices I tickle and name her body parts. As soon as I start, she starts grinning. We also say our ABCs and count while I work her legs doing the bicycle. This helps with her gas too. Fun and functional!
Beulah loves baths. One night she was pretty fussy, but needed a bath. The minute we put her in the warm water, she stopped fussing and started smiling! Bingo! Now we know! We've recently discovered that she has another comfort (besides baths, nursing or the paci), her snugglie. It's a miniature blanket with the silk edges that we all loved as kids. Her "Aunt" Carrie sent it for her, and we're so glad she did! It says "Miracle" on it. :) She loves to hug it and sometimes chew on it when she's tired. Personally, I'm hoping she'll find her thumb soon so that she won't keep waking herself up when the paci falls out of her mouth.
Recently we've been trying to work her towards a manageable schedule. She is super alert and doesn't like to nap. So, I've been trying to be diligent about having her nap in her crib with the lights low and the sound machine on like at night. But, I haven't quite been able to put her down awake and let her put herself to sleep yet. I am much more of a wimp than I thought I would be! Ugh! We try to include books and a song in our routine. I've heard that if you sing the same song each time it will trigger her sleep memory, so I have altered the words to the old church song "Beulah Land" to say, "Beulah Grace, I'm thankful for you. And through life, I'll hold your hand. Child, my love shall be eternal. Beulah Grace, sweet Beulah Grace."
She has the funniest sleepy time routine. First, she starts talking. (I wonder if this will continue when she gets older!) Then, she'll do the best Stevie Wonder impression you've ever seen, at which time we sing "Isn't She Lovely" or "I Just Called To Say I Love You." As she turns her head from side to side, with her chin slightly raised for effect, the back of her head rubs whatever she's leaning against, which explains the bald spot. However, the hair just below it has been well preserved, which makes for a classic rat tail. Nice.
She's sleeping pretty well at night. One night she slept 9 hours! The next night she slept 7 hours. Ever since then, she gets up once in the night, usually because of gas, and then goes right back to sleep. She's only up for about 30 minutes total. She's been sleeping in her carseat (at the recommendation of the pediatric nurse), to help with reflux and gas. She sleeps much better on an incline, but we'll need to make the transition to the crib soon, so pray for that! She would much rather sleep on daddy or while nursing on mommy. :)
Beulah has gotten to know our doctors pretty well. Besides her one month check-up, we've taken her to the pediatrician for "excessive" weight loss (1 week old), gas, reflux, congestion, and baby acne. Sheesh! We've kept them in business! Lately, however, we've been taking her to a chiropractor for adjustments. She went four or five days without a BM, and her gas was unbearable. After a week of being adjusted, she has had multiple dirty diapers EVERY day! And yes, one of them covered most everything in the nursery. Let's just say I took the diaper off a second too soon and she went straight to the bath afterwards. :) But, since then, her gas pain has been MUCH more bearable than before, and her bouts of pain are more sparse. We could not be more grateful. We've also been able to take her off the Zantac that the pediatrician prescribed! We're happy to have found Dr. Bagwell's help when we did! I think we've found our new "pediatrician"!
At 11 weeks, Beulah discovered that she can touch things with her hands and feet. She's not super coordinated yet, but she's having a blast figuring it out, and it's fun to watch! She spends a lot of time looking at her hands and feet, and you can just see the wheels turning. What's next?!
People have been asking how Pedro (our 7 year old Boxer) has been with her. He totally loves her! He's been really good about not licking her with his abnormally large, stinky tongue, even though it's obvious he wants to. He walks past and sniffs her, and she just watches him and grins. When we go for walks, he walks right beside the stroller, turns when it turns, and looks in at her every 10 seconds. It's going to be fun watching them as she grows. I have a feeling they're going to adore each other.
Some of these pictures you've seen, some are new, so check them out! The video is an example of the joy I feel with her every day. I am so thankful for this time with this precious little angel.
We've decided that she has her daddy's facial features with my facial muscle structure and shape. She is very expressive, like me, crinkling her eye brows and nose. As you can see from the pictures and video below, she's got such a happy disposition and a smile that will melt your heart. The only time she's not smiling is when she has gas pain. Seriously, she even smiles in her sleep (see pics)! And, in the middle of the night when I change her diaper and put her back down, she's always flashing smiles. I think it's her way of trying to get me to stay up and play...tempting!
Speaking of playtime, she loves her floor gym, especially the hanging monkey. She laughs at him, the hanging bumblebee on her swing, and the ceiling fans. I caught her having a riveting conversation with the bee the other day. Too cute! She doesn't like tummy time too much, but loves her daily anatomy lesson. I start at her toes, and with my silly voices I tickle and name her body parts. As soon as I start, she starts grinning. We also say our ABCs and count while I work her legs doing the bicycle. This helps with her gas too. Fun and functional!
Beulah loves baths. One night she was pretty fussy, but needed a bath. The minute we put her in the warm water, she stopped fussing and started smiling! Bingo! Now we know! We've recently discovered that she has another comfort (besides baths, nursing or the paci), her snugglie. It's a miniature blanket with the silk edges that we all loved as kids. Her "Aunt" Carrie sent it for her, and we're so glad she did! It says "Miracle" on it. :) She loves to hug it and sometimes chew on it when she's tired. Personally, I'm hoping she'll find her thumb soon so that she won't keep waking herself up when the paci falls out of her mouth.
Recently we've been trying to work her towards a manageable schedule. She is super alert and doesn't like to nap. So, I've been trying to be diligent about having her nap in her crib with the lights low and the sound machine on like at night. But, I haven't quite been able to put her down awake and let her put herself to sleep yet. I am much more of a wimp than I thought I would be! Ugh! We try to include books and a song in our routine. I've heard that if you sing the same song each time it will trigger her sleep memory, so I have altered the words to the old church song "Beulah Land" to say, "Beulah Grace, I'm thankful for you. And through life, I'll hold your hand. Child, my love shall be eternal. Beulah Grace, sweet Beulah Grace."
She has the funniest sleepy time routine. First, she starts talking. (I wonder if this will continue when she gets older!) Then, she'll do the best Stevie Wonder impression you've ever seen, at which time we sing "Isn't She Lovely" or "I Just Called To Say I Love You." As she turns her head from side to side, with her chin slightly raised for effect, the back of her head rubs whatever she's leaning against, which explains the bald spot. However, the hair just below it has been well preserved, which makes for a classic rat tail. Nice.
She's sleeping pretty well at night. One night she slept 9 hours! The next night she slept 7 hours. Ever since then, she gets up once in the night, usually because of gas, and then goes right back to sleep. She's only up for about 30 minutes total. She's been sleeping in her carseat (at the recommendation of the pediatric nurse), to help with reflux and gas. She sleeps much better on an incline, but we'll need to make the transition to the crib soon, so pray for that! She would much rather sleep on daddy or while nursing on mommy. :)
Beulah has gotten to know our doctors pretty well. Besides her one month check-up, we've taken her to the pediatrician for "excessive" weight loss (1 week old), gas, reflux, congestion, and baby acne. Sheesh! We've kept them in business! Lately, however, we've been taking her to a chiropractor for adjustments. She went four or five days without a BM, and her gas was unbearable. After a week of being adjusted, she has had multiple dirty diapers EVERY day! And yes, one of them covered most everything in the nursery. Let's just say I took the diaper off a second too soon and she went straight to the bath afterwards. :) But, since then, her gas pain has been MUCH more bearable than before, and her bouts of pain are more sparse. We could not be more grateful. We've also been able to take her off the Zantac that the pediatrician prescribed! We're happy to have found Dr. Bagwell's help when we did! I think we've found our new "pediatrician"!
At 11 weeks, Beulah discovered that she can touch things with her hands and feet. She's not super coordinated yet, but she's having a blast figuring it out, and it's fun to watch! She spends a lot of time looking at her hands and feet, and you can just see the wheels turning. What's next?!
People have been asking how Pedro (our 7 year old Boxer) has been with her. He totally loves her! He's been really good about not licking her with his abnormally large, stinky tongue, even though it's obvious he wants to. He walks past and sniffs her, and she just watches him and grins. When we go for walks, he walks right beside the stroller, turns when it turns, and looks in at her every 10 seconds. It's going to be fun watching them as she grows. I have a feeling they're going to adore each other.
Some of these pictures you've seen, some are new, so check them out! The video is an example of the joy I feel with her every day. I am so thankful for this time with this precious little angel.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Sweet Angel
HELLO! I am finally poking my head out of my shell to share some pictures of my sweet angel, straight from Heaven! Thank you all for your calls, texts, e-mails, cards, food, gifts, etc. I'm sorry I have not responded before now. It is certainly no reflection of how we feel about you all. We are so grateful for you and are eager to share with you this miracle that you've prayed with us for.
Whenever I see a newborn, I think, "How did that baby fit in that belly?" I thought the same thing when I saw Beulah. Then, she curled up in this position and I could see. This is one of my favorite pictures because this is how she was in my belly.
Beulah is the most beautiful and amazing baby. We have spent the past four weeks getting to know each other and learning how to care for each other. I'll post the details about all that later. For now, I just want to share my girl with you! She is such a good baby! Praise the LORD! She only cries when she needs something, and a couple of her cries are the cutest I've ever heard. I wish I could accurately describe them with words. I want to get a video tape of them, but when it's happening I'm not really thinking about finding the video camera. :) She hates getting her diaper changed, so when she gets upset we give her a paci. Her cry then turns to this precious little chug and grunt, almost like she's trying really hard NOT to cry. It's SO cute! The other cute cry is when she's had a little food but wants you to know she's not quite finished yet. She roars like a baby tigress. Precious!
Beulah loves sleeping on her daddy's chest. She loves playing bicycle with her mama. We have really enjoyed this special time with her. Of course, there have been challenges (mostly with feeding), but we're figuring it out...with a lot of prayer and patience. Beulah tends to eat more than the average baby. After dropping down to 6 lbs. the first week, she's now up to 8 lbs.! She's growing a double chin that we're very proud of. She has a crazy strong neck and has been lifting her head since day one. We have to be careful that she doesn't sling her floppy body out of our arms when she throws her heavy head around! And as beautiful as she is, she's also a very gassy baby. She burps and toots like a man!
We thank God for the help of our moms. My mom (Ninnie) came the 2nd week. Andy's mom (Nana) came the 3rd week, then Ninnie came back again for the 4th week. Their help and encouragement has been invaluable in this transition. There's something about grandmothers...they can just hold the baby and she falls asleep immediately. They have the touch!
Here's our girl! Welcome to the world, baby girl!
Whenever I see a newborn, I think, "How did that baby fit in that belly?" I thought the same thing when I saw Beulah. Then, she curled up in this position and I could see. This is one of my favorite pictures because this is how she was in my belly.
Beulah is the most beautiful and amazing baby. We have spent the past four weeks getting to know each other and learning how to care for each other. I'll post the details about all that later. For now, I just want to share my girl with you! She is such a good baby! Praise the LORD! She only cries when she needs something, and a couple of her cries are the cutest I've ever heard. I wish I could accurately describe them with words. I want to get a video tape of them, but when it's happening I'm not really thinking about finding the video camera. :) She hates getting her diaper changed, so when she gets upset we give her a paci. Her cry then turns to this precious little chug and grunt, almost like she's trying really hard NOT to cry. It's SO cute! The other cute cry is when she's had a little food but wants you to know she's not quite finished yet. She roars like a baby tigress. Precious!
Beulah loves sleeping on her daddy's chest. She loves playing bicycle with her mama. We have really enjoyed this special time with her. Of course, there have been challenges (mostly with feeding), but we're figuring it out...with a lot of prayer and patience. Beulah tends to eat more than the average baby. After dropping down to 6 lbs. the first week, she's now up to 8 lbs.! She's growing a double chin that we're very proud of. She has a crazy strong neck and has been lifting her head since day one. We have to be careful that she doesn't sling her floppy body out of our arms when she throws her heavy head around! And as beautiful as she is, she's also a very gassy baby. She burps and toots like a man!
We thank God for the help of our moms. My mom (Ninnie) came the 2nd week. Andy's mom (Nana) came the 3rd week, then Ninnie came back again for the 4th week. Their help and encouragement has been invaluable in this transition. There's something about grandmothers...they can just hold the baby and she falls asleep immediately. They have the touch!
Here's our girl! Welcome to the world, baby girl!
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