The Last Belly Pix Before Beulah!!

My friend Leslie Hutchison took these beautiful pictures for me last week. Check out her website by clicking on the link. She's amazing!!

Deadline!!

I had my 37 week appointment Friday. Yay! We're officially full term! Praise God!! Since Beulah has still not turned, the Doctor scheduled a c-section for Thursday, April 2nd. As soon as he left the room, I looked at Andy and said, "OK, God's got a deadline now!" :)

I have to admit, I went through a sort of grieving process (for the potential loss of labor) Friday and Saturday morning. I didn't call or talk to anybody because I knew what everyone was going to say. I KNEW what I SHOULD be thinking and feeling. "She'll get here in the perfect way God has planned." "When it's over and you see that healthy baby girl, you won't care how she got here!" "The important thing is that you're both safe." I knew I SHOULD be thinking and feeling that way, but I just couldn't make myself.

Some women have said that I'm lucky not to have to labor. They say they wish they could have just been wheeled in for surgery and not have had to go through the hours of work. So, why would I want to labor and need to grieve the loss of it? Crazy or not, honestly I was looking forward to doing the work and that moment of climax when she is born, feeling SO much relief and joy that's she's here and the work is done. Not to mention the fact that God moved my placenta out of the way and has prepared my body for a successful vaginal delivery. Plus, with my background in dance and knowledge of the body, I was looking forward to the physical challenge.

I've talked to several women, close friends and family, that labored for hours, only to end in a c-section. Those women went through a period of grief for their birth experience afterwards. I think it's natural and important to allow women to grieve without guilt. It's a loss for the experience the way God created it. Of course, it wouldn't be good to sit in the grief for too long or to overreact about it (whatever that looks like), but healthy grieving can be important and necessary.

Fortunately, Andy recognized my need to grieve, and prayed with me about it Friday. Saturday morning, I showed my weakness to two moms from church that I respect and admire. While they tried to encourage me, I still could not force myself to feel different. But, about an hour later, as I was being treated to a pedicure (see below) by Beulah's "aunt Danielle" and filling her in on "the plan", I started to get excited! There was an unexplainable difference in my attitude and feelings as I talked about meeting my sweet baby girl in a week and a half!! I could literally FEEL the prayers that Andy and those two moms had prayed for me, and thank God, He lifted what I could not.

I had to surrender MY will and the desires of my heart to God and His sovereignty. I KNOW He knows what's best and I trust that He has His reasons, even if I never know them. Who knows, He could be protecting us from something much worse! There are, after-all, some positive aspects to all this.

1. I have had time to grieve the loss of natural delivery BEFORE my baby comes, rather than after (which is the case for many women).

2. I feel GREAT! I'm pretty sure it's because I don't have a head in my pelvis or feet in my ribs. :)

3. This method is much more predictable and makes planning easy.

4. I will get to sleep through the night next Wednesday (as much as possible with aches, anxiety and excitement), wake up, calmly go to the hospital and meet my baby that morning! Then, I have the rest of the day with her, our parents and siblings.

5. I will meet my baby in a week and a half (after almost 7 years of waiting)!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait!!

Now, does that mean we stop praying that she will turn? NO! If He wants to, God could still turn her before next Thursday! If He does that, I will consider it ANOTHER miracle! If you look at the picture below, Beulah is sitting in the Frank Breech position and has been for quite a while. I can't even IMAGINE how my little chunker could turn from that position with the lack of space she has in there. She seems quite comfortable and doesn't listen to our reason and logic about why she should turn. :) So, it would actually take the hand of God to guide her to the head down position. The statistics say that only 3-4% of babies are still breech by this point in pregnancy. And, as the high risk doctor told us, babies have typically declared their position by now. But, what does God care about statistics? If He wants to, He'll turn her. I know that for sure!



I've never been a girlie girl. I've had MAYBE three pedicures my whole life. Green is my favorite color, and I've typically avoided pink. But, when you're pregnant with a little girl, you can't help but think of her when you see pink. So, I chose pink as my toenail color in honor of her arrival. :)



Look at that Belly! This was taken at 36.5 weeks.

Pray with Us

Today I am 35+ weeks. Saturday I will be 36 weeks; NINE MONTHS PREGNANT!!! Unbelievable!!

We started our appointment with an ultrasound to see if Beulah has turned. I knew she hadn't, but I was excited to see her again anyway. We were SHOCKED to hear that our "little" girl has gained more than a pound in less than two weeks!! She is weighing in at a whopping 6 lbs 3 oz!! The tech said she's going to come out will fat rolls!! Check out this beautiful picture of her FAT little cheeks! I had fat cheeks 'til I graduated college. Guess she's going to take after her mama!


This is a straight on shot of her face. Her eyes are faded into the dark top, so you're looking at her nose, lips and CHEEKS!! What a little chunker!!

She is still sitting with her bottom at the bottom of my uterus and her head at the top. Her LONG gorgeous legs (measuring at 39 weeks!) are straight up in front of her face. :) She's a flexible little bugger; again, like her mama!

The doctor recommended doing an external cephalic version TOMORROW, before she gets any bigger! Basically, I would have to go to the hospital, be put on an IV, medicated to relax the uterus, and the doctors would turn Beulah with their hands, externally. They would have to monitor her heart rate and my fluid, and if there were any signs of complications (cord entanglement, etc.), they would have to go ahead and take her. There is only a 50% success rate, and even less with first time moms.

Because of the risks involved, the drugs required, the stats, and the fact that we want to leave it in God's hands, we decided against the version. We are stepping out on faith and trusting that God knows what's best. We believe whole heartedly that He can turn her and do a better job than the doctors. We also believe that He is sovereign over her birth. If I have to have a c-section because she doesn't turn, we believe He has His reasons for that. We would LOVE to see Him turn her (against all odds) and get all the glory for it rather than the doctors. So, we ask that you pray for that with us. She is currently only consuming the space from my mid-line to the left of my uterus. It appears that she has plenty of space to use the right side of my uterus, and she is VERY active (see video taken this week--35 weeks). So, there is no reason to believe she is settled into her birth position yet...not to mention we serve a God who specializes in the "impossible!" :)


Beulah moving 35 weeks from Michelle Crissinger on Vimeo.

I bust out laughing at the end because Andy was watching with his mouth hanging open saying, "Woah!!!!!"

The Nursery!!

We are READY for Ms. Beulah! We worked hard last week to get the nursery ready before our families came. I did more than I should have as evidenced by my swollen feet and ankles. :) I wish we could take a picture of the whole room at once because the full effect is REALLY cozy and we LOVE it! But, here you'll see it in pieces. The nursery is actually connected to our bedroom. It is intended to be a study, but it makes a perfect nursery! We LOVE looking in there and anticipating her being in there soon! My dad is refinishing the rocking chair that has been passed down from when my mom was a baby. I was rocked in that chair too. So, that will replace the black chair when he's finished.

Latest Beulah Pix!

Saturday our families came to town and we got to take them all to see a 3D ultrasound of Beulah! It was wonderful to hear the oohs and aahs of Beulah's Ninnie & Paw Paw, Nana & Pop Pop, Aunt Heather, and of course Mom & Dad. Beulah weighed in at a whopping 5 lbs. 1 oz! She had gained 2 oz since Monday!

Beulah is super flexible like her mom. The tech had a hard time getting a good picture of her face because her feet and hands were in front of her face the whole time! She is sitting on her little bottom (which is on my bladder), and just plays with her feet all day. What a life! And, what a treat to see her. At one point, we even got to see her open her eyes and move her eye ball around! I can't believe it's possible to see her in such detail when she's still inside my belly. I thank God for our precious little girl, and in 3-6 weeks we'll get to hold her in our arms!! I can't even handle it!!!

sweet fingers



bottom of her foot: See those yummy, chubby toes?!!

Turn Around, Bright Eyes

We've known for a while that Beulah was breech. I mean, when I get up in the middle of the night, I can feel her head up in my ribs, almost like she's standing straight up! I keep telling her there's more room "down there" for her head to grow, but she's not listening to me. :) Monday, the high risk doctor told us that at this point babies are pretty much settled into their birth position.

So, we're praying she turns very soon. I mean, the placenta has moved out of the way completely and everything is in place for me to have a natural birth...except Beulah. While I will be more than thrilled to meet her no matter how she gets here, and I trust that God is sovereign over her birth, I pray that I will be able to experience a natural birth. I went online and looked at several different methods recommended to help a breech baby turn. If I'm not careful, I could get obsessed trying them all and thinking about it all the time. So, while I'm praying that she will turn, I'm also praying that I can remember that I am not in control and I can trust God in whatever happens. I appreciate your prayers about this too.

The Things We Take for Granted

When we go to Guatemala in the summers, part of our mission is to build houses for widows and their children. One of the hardest parts of the trip is the see how the family was living before. The pictures below are two examples of "beds" where the widows had been sleeping.





Inside the house we build a bunk bed out of raw wood and top it off with a small mattress. This past year, some of our folks got to go back and visit a widow we had built a house for earlier in the week. The widow was SO excited to see them and thanked them endlessly. But, one thing she said really struck us. She said, "I LOVE my new bed. It makes my bones not hurt."

I get a knot in my throat just thinking about it, because you have to understand...when we say "new bed", we're not talking about a queen pillow top mattress or even a memory foam topper. It's the kind of mattress that middle class Americans might let our dogs sleep on, but never our children and certainly not ourselves (see below).



I didn't fully understand the significance of her statement until the past couple of months. If you've ever been pregnant, you know that sleeping can be a challenge as you near the end. For the past couple of months, I would wake up everytime I turned over. For one thing, I had to rearrange the four pillows I had all around me. For another thing, my hips and ribs were KILLING me. Sometimes they would hurt all day, sometimes just for the first couple of hours in the day.

Now, you should know that I not only have the four pillows to make me comfortable, but I am also sleeping on a great mattress PLUS a memory foam topper, and I STILL hurt! After a few weeks of this, I couldn't imagine it getting any worse or lasting for the next few months. So, Andy and I prayed that God would relieve this pain and help me sleep. And, I tell you, He did!! Now, when I get up for one of my many trips to the potty during the night, I thank God that I don't feel the pain. Last night, when I thanked God, He reminded me of these women and children who were sleeping on MUCH less than me and hurting all day everyday. Boy, was I humbled. Pray for them as you crawl in bed tonight. And, if you feel so led, you can help them here.

8 weeks to go!!

I can't believe I am 8 months pregnant and we will get to meet Beulah in about 8 weeks!! People have always talked about how fast time goes when you have kids, but I didn't realize it started before they were even in the world! This has really flown!

These days Andy and I enjoy sitting and watching my belly morph and jump. We've got one active little girl, thank the Lord! In the picture below, you can see how much she's grown. :) It's the first bare belly picture I've posted, although I walk around the house like that all the time. I wish I could go everywhere like that!



Last Friday the doctor released me from pelvic rest. She said she doesn't see any reason to believe that I will have to have a c-section! They will check me again at 36 weeks (I am currently at 32 weeks). After she left the room, I just sat on the table and breathed several deep sighs of relief and praised God! I was able to exercise some last week, but it's slow going since it's been a while.

Last weekend Andy and I went to the most wonderful birthing class at the hospital where I will deliver, CMC Pineville. We are praying that I will get the nurse who taught the class (or someone like her) to attend the birth, because she was AMAZING!! We learned SO many helpful things. She was really good at talking to the husbands in the class about their role during labor and delivery, and I think it really helped give Andy some much needed confidence. We are more and more excited every day about meeting Beulah!

On Valentines Day, I came home to some beautiful gerber daisies (my favorite) from my husband, and some fresh, young tulips "from" my precious Beulah! What a treat! Beulah and I also had a gift for her daddy. (See the shirt below.) He loved it. :) (Thanks for the idea, Aunt Danielle!)

HUGE Praise!!!

Your prayers have been heard!! We went to the high risk doctor this morning. The first person we saw was the ultrasound tech, and as it turns out, she goes to Eternal and heard Andy preach about us having been infertile for six years before the pregnancy! She was amazing! She did a full anatomy scan of Beulah and said she looks very healthy (another praise!). THEN, she switched on the 3D ultrasound and gave us these!!



We are totally in love with this little girl and can't believe she actually smiled at the camera! What a ham! Already!

Next, the Doctor came in. He was the absolute sweetest man. He did a bit of the scanning himself, but he was looking at the placenta. The original concern was that I might have a condition called vasa previa. I didn't understand that at the time of my last visit with my ob/gyn, but it is much more serious than placenta previa. Placenta previa is where the placenta is blocking the cervix. Vasa previa is where blood vessels or the umbilical cord are between the fetus and the cervix. Click on the link to read more.

The Doctor was looking for the point where the umbilical cord inserts into the placenta. He found the insertion point high up on my right side! So, he ruled out vasa previa! The next order of business was to see where the end of the placenta was and if it was still blocking the cervix. It wasn't!!! It was sitting just to the side of the cervix!! We (including the Doctor) were ecstatic! He said he'd like for me to continue on pelvic rest since it was so close, just to prevent bleeding. But, he thought it looked very promising for the placenta to continue to grow UP as my uterus continues to grow. He did not see any reason to believe that a c-section is inevitable. By the time she's ready to get here, that placenta could be out of the way and I could deliver naturally!!! Hallelujah!!

We just praised God all the way home! We are floating on cloud 9 and honestly can not thank YOU all enough for your prayers. God is good!!

Latest Belly Pix!

She's not trying to hide anymore!  My little girl is making her presence known!  It's especially intriguing to strangers when only the top button of my coat can button.  :)  Here she is!

High Risk?

Friday was my 28 week check up, glucose screening, and the follow-up ultra sound they promised when they saw my low lying placenta in the last ultra sound.  At the time, there wasn't much concern because they figured the placenta would move up as my uterus grew.  This was just a precaution to be sure that it had.

In the ultra sound we saw that Beulah is doing great, praise the LORD! She has beautiful long (dancer) legs, and her hands were clasped in a prayer position up by her face. Precious!

leg and foot (up left)

praying hands

After the scan we went back to see the doctor. She told us that in all of her 9 years of practice she's never seen a low lying placenta do what mine did. It went down instead of up. Which means I have placenta previa. I have been placed on "pelvic rest", which limits my physical activities, including exercise, house work, grocery shopping, intimacy, etc. Thankfully, I haven't had any bleeding, so they aren't putting me on bed-rest...yet. If I see any blood, I have to call the "authorities" immediately. Oh, and I've now been labeled a "high risk pregnancy".

Beulah is not in danger at this point. The only way this would be a problem for her is if I went into labor. They believe I have a blood vessel running along my cervix that is supplying blood to Beulah. If I were to dialte at all, the blood vessel would rupture, which would be a danger for us both. The only way to be sure that doesn't happen is to deliver her by c-section up to three weeks before her due date.  The doctor, who has been cold and uninterested in the past, rolled her stool up next to me, put her hand on my knee, looked me in the eyes and said, "This is serious. Do you understand?"

To be sure they know exactly what is going on, they are sending me to a high risk doctor Friday at 8 AM. I'm not sure exactly what that will entail, but I think they'll be using a higher powered machine to see the blood vessels clearly to make sure Beulah is getting what she needs from the placenta.  If the vessels are showing signs of constriction at all, I will be put on bed-rest.  Of course I'll let you know what the doctor says.

Sunday, some friends along with the elders of our church filled the tiny chapel at the YMCA to pray over us (James 5:14).  It was the most amazing moment.  As they were praying, Beulah was moving more than she's ever moved at once!  After one person prayed, the next would say that the words that were on their heart had already been spoken by someone else.  They prayed for protection for me & Beulah and prayed that God would move my placenta out of the way if it's His will.  Our hearts and prayers were all in unity, and we left with such a peace and calm in our hearts (Matthew 18:20).  No matter how God chooses to bring Beulah into the world, we feel confident that both she and I will be safe and healthy.  Thankfully, I haven't worried too much, and my peace has been confirmed through others who are praying for us.  My cousin said that every time she sits down to pray for us, God tells her to "Move on.  I've got this one covered."  :)

While we were praying, one of our elders found this comforting verse.

Isaiah 66:9  "Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give delivery?" says the LORD.  "Do I close up the womb when I bring to delivery?" says your God.

These encouraging words have also been given to us from multiple sources this week.

Philippians 1:6  "...being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion..."

Philippians 4:6-7  "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

In the past week, many women have shared similar stories about placenta previa.  In some cases the placenta moved and they were able to deliver "naturally".  In others, the babies were successfully delivered by cesarian.  We're praying that God will move the placenta (Matthew 17:20), but we trust His sovereignty no matter how she gets here (Psalm 56:3, Isaiah 26:3-4).  Thank you for your prayers and encouragement!  We are so excited that we're getting close to meeting our baby girl!!

My New Favorite Thing!!

So, my favorite part of my second trimester was feeling Beulah move.  Now that she's bigger and there's not as much room for her to move, her movement feels very different, and I LOVE IT!!  I can feel her rolling around and I can even feel knees and elbows sometimes!!  I love knowing what I'm feeling.  It makes me feel closer to her because I am more attuned to what she's doing.  She's amazing!!