Deadline!!

I had my 37 week appointment Friday. Yay! We're officially full term! Praise God!! Since Beulah has still not turned, the Doctor scheduled a c-section for Thursday, April 2nd. As soon as he left the room, I looked at Andy and said, "OK, God's got a deadline now!" :)

I have to admit, I went through a sort of grieving process (for the potential loss of labor) Friday and Saturday morning. I didn't call or talk to anybody because I knew what everyone was going to say. I KNEW what I SHOULD be thinking and feeling. "She'll get here in the perfect way God has planned." "When it's over and you see that healthy baby girl, you won't care how she got here!" "The important thing is that you're both safe." I knew I SHOULD be thinking and feeling that way, but I just couldn't make myself.

Some women have said that I'm lucky not to have to labor. They say they wish they could have just been wheeled in for surgery and not have had to go through the hours of work. So, why would I want to labor and need to grieve the loss of it? Crazy or not, honestly I was looking forward to doing the work and that moment of climax when she is born, feeling SO much relief and joy that's she's here and the work is done. Not to mention the fact that God moved my placenta out of the way and has prepared my body for a successful vaginal delivery. Plus, with my background in dance and knowledge of the body, I was looking forward to the physical challenge.

I've talked to several women, close friends and family, that labored for hours, only to end in a c-section. Those women went through a period of grief for their birth experience afterwards. I think it's natural and important to allow women to grieve without guilt. It's a loss for the experience the way God created it. Of course, it wouldn't be good to sit in the grief for too long or to overreact about it (whatever that looks like), but healthy grieving can be important and necessary.

Fortunately, Andy recognized my need to grieve, and prayed with me about it Friday. Saturday morning, I showed my weakness to two moms from church that I respect and admire. While they tried to encourage me, I still could not force myself to feel different. But, about an hour later, as I was being treated to a pedicure (see below) by Beulah's "aunt Danielle" and filling her in on "the plan", I started to get excited! There was an unexplainable difference in my attitude and feelings as I talked about meeting my sweet baby girl in a week and a half!! I could literally FEEL the prayers that Andy and those two moms had prayed for me, and thank God, He lifted what I could not.

I had to surrender MY will and the desires of my heart to God and His sovereignty. I KNOW He knows what's best and I trust that He has His reasons, even if I never know them. Who knows, He could be protecting us from something much worse! There are, after-all, some positive aspects to all this.

1. I have had time to grieve the loss of natural delivery BEFORE my baby comes, rather than after (which is the case for many women).

2. I feel GREAT! I'm pretty sure it's because I don't have a head in my pelvis or feet in my ribs. :)

3. This method is much more predictable and makes planning easy.

4. I will get to sleep through the night next Wednesday (as much as possible with aches, anxiety and excitement), wake up, calmly go to the hospital and meet my baby that morning! Then, I have the rest of the day with her, our parents and siblings.

5. I will meet my baby in a week and a half (after almost 7 years of waiting)!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait!!

Now, does that mean we stop praying that she will turn? NO! If He wants to, God could still turn her before next Thursday! If He does that, I will consider it ANOTHER miracle! If you look at the picture below, Beulah is sitting in the Frank Breech position and has been for quite a while. I can't even IMAGINE how my little chunker could turn from that position with the lack of space she has in there. She seems quite comfortable and doesn't listen to our reason and logic about why she should turn. :) So, it would actually take the hand of God to guide her to the head down position. The statistics say that only 3-4% of babies are still breech by this point in pregnancy. And, as the high risk doctor told us, babies have typically declared their position by now. But, what does God care about statistics? If He wants to, He'll turn her. I know that for sure!



I've never been a girlie girl. I've had MAYBE three pedicures my whole life. Green is my favorite color, and I've typically avoided pink. But, when you're pregnant with a little girl, you can't help but think of her when you see pink. So, I chose pink as my toenail color in honor of her arrival. :)



Look at that Belly! This was taken at 36.5 weeks.

8 weeks to go!!

I can't believe I am 8 months pregnant and we will get to meet Beulah in about 8 weeks!! People have always talked about how fast time goes when you have kids, but I didn't realize it started before they were even in the world! This has really flown!

These days Andy and I enjoy sitting and watching my belly morph and jump. We've got one active little girl, thank the Lord! In the picture below, you can see how much she's grown. :) It's the first bare belly picture I've posted, although I walk around the house like that all the time. I wish I could go everywhere like that!



Last Friday the doctor released me from pelvic rest. She said she doesn't see any reason to believe that I will have to have a c-section! They will check me again at 36 weeks (I am currently at 32 weeks). After she left the room, I just sat on the table and breathed several deep sighs of relief and praised God! I was able to exercise some last week, but it's slow going since it's been a while.

Last weekend Andy and I went to the most wonderful birthing class at the hospital where I will deliver, CMC Pineville. We are praying that I will get the nurse who taught the class (or someone like her) to attend the birth, because she was AMAZING!! We learned SO many helpful things. She was really good at talking to the husbands in the class about their role during labor and delivery, and I think it really helped give Andy some much needed confidence. We are more and more excited every day about meeting Beulah!

On Valentines Day, I came home to some beautiful gerber daisies (my favorite) from my husband, and some fresh, young tulips "from" my precious Beulah! What a treat! Beulah and I also had a gift for her daddy. (See the shirt below.) He loved it. :) (Thanks for the idea, Aunt Danielle!)

Latest Belly Pix!

She's not trying to hide anymore!  My little girl is making her presence known!  It's especially intriguing to strangers when only the top button of my coat can button.  :)  Here she is!

Latest Belly & Family Pix

These were taken on Beulah's first Thanksgiving!  We were in FL with Andy's family, which explains the short sleeved shirts and the water.  :)

More Belly Pix!

OK, folks, in keeping with election week, you have one more week to vote on our baby's gender! Next Monday, November 10th, we find out whether the X or Y chromosome has won! So, Nikki and Heather, here are your latest belly pix (at 17 weeks) to help you decide on your vote.

My Growing Belly

Per the request of many of my out of town friends and family, here is a picture of the beginnings of my baby bump!  It looks big to me now, but I know it will grow significantly before all is done.  I love it!  This picture was taken at Mike's wedding.

The First of Many

Yesterday we stopped at Wendy's on our way down to FL. Unlike Andy, I'm one of those people that isn't afraid to look strangers in the eye and compliment them. As we were walking past this woman playing with her baby, I said to Andy, loudly enough for them to hear, "Look how cute she is!" We smiled at each other and she said, "I see your baby bump!"

I thought it was brave of her to say, especially since I'm still not too big yet. But, it sure did make me happy to hear it. :)