I Saw My Baby Yesterday!!!

Have you ever been really excited about something just to have your joy squashed by someone's words?  I don't know if we realize how powerful our tongue can be.  If you tell people that you're pregnant before your second trimester you better be prepared to hear a variety of responses.  Most people we told were ecstatic, but the ones that showed hesitation to be excited or asked questions that were leading to the possibility of miscarriage or other complications, those were the ones that stuck to me.  I mean, I understand why.  Some of them have been through some really traumatic experiences and don't want to see us hurt.

Most of the time I could fight off the fear by reminding myself that God is the one that made this happen in the first place and that He would take care of this baby, but then my fear would consume me again when I had a few days without symptoms and thought that maybe the baby had stopped developing.  So, you can imagine the anxiety with which I climbed up on the table yesterday for my first ultra sound.  I knew this was the moment that would determine my journey for the months ahead.

If you've been through this before, you know that feeling...I'm laying there with hopes and fears swirling around together, dying to know which will win.  The ultra sound tech puts the warm gel on my belly, I hold my breath and grab Andy's hand as she puts the wand to my abdomen, and there it is...the most beautiful sight a mother could see, MY BABY!!!!  We gasp together and watch eagerly as she scrolls over this tiny little person inside me.  How amazing it is to see that tiny little beating heart, that gorgeous spine, those arms and legs moving, the two hemispheres of the brain!!  She said she could see the bladder, which means the kidneys must be functioning properly!  I'm not typically so attracted to organs which is one reason I knew I could never work in the medical field, but I must say, I have never seen anything so beautiful in my life!!  We got a DVD of the whole sonogram and our first baby pictures to capture the moment.  What a treasure!  I'll post some ASAP so you can meet baby Crissinger.  Uncle Mike is getting married this weekend, so we haven't had time to do it yet...maybe next week.

I am so incredibly thankful for this blessing.  I know that I have been guarding my heart and not letting myself fall in love with this baby for fear that I would lose him/her.  But, seeing him/her on the screen yesterday changed that...and the bonding begins!