A year has passed since Beulah was born. As I reflect on my time as a mother, one thought comes to mind; I was CRAZY!! I haven't talked about my PPD (postpartum depression) here since I confessed my need for medication. It has been a process. There have been ups and downs. But, I want to praise the LORD today that I am Zoloft free!!
When Andy married me, I think he thought he had it easy. No one, including me, could tell a difference in my moods when I had PMS. I never had cramps. My periods were light and short, and I was always bubbly and positive. All that changed the day Beulah was born. We have several ways of referring to the period of time (Beulah's first 8-10 months) that PPD ruled. Andy is a good and sweet husband and kindly refers to it as the time when I was in a "fog". I just say, "I was crazy!"
When I was in the fog, I didn't realize how crazy I was. I thought everyone else was crazy. But, coming out of it and looking back, I see that I was, in fact...crazy!
This weekend on our way home from Atlanta, we decided to stop at the outlet mall in Commerce for a while. We had a great time walking around with Mike & Ria, wandering in and out of shops, and enjoying the beautiful weather. Beulah took a short nap on Andy in the Baby Bjorn, I fed her in the car, and Ria & I played peek-a-boo and other games with her on the way home. At one point she started to get fussy, and I didn't know what she needed. I felt myself get the tiniest bit anxious, and then I remembered. I remembered what I was like before...when I was crazy. I played the whole scenario in my head and allowed myself to image what my reaction would have been like if I were still in my fog.
My PPD manifested itself in several different ways; ways that mimic a combination of other disorders. The most overt manifestation was my obsession with numbers. The hospital asks you to keep records of food intake and diaper output while you're in the hospital. Pediatricians don't require you to continue record keeping once released, but I did anyway. That was one early clue that something was wrong. But, it seemed right to me. While I couldn't control HER and I couldn't force her to eat or go to the bathroom, I could control the numbers on the paper.
I have always been a slave to the clock, but when my PPD was at it's worst, I could not deviate from my self-imposed schedule even one minute or the anxiety would take over and that would lead to anger. I also obsessed about the amount of food she took in. As you may remember, I kept a rented hospital scale at our house for a month or longer. I weighed Beulah (naked, no-less) before and after every breast feeding, and whatever she didn't get from me, I supplemented with formula. I was terrified about not knowing how much she took in while nursing, and I did not trust my instincts. But, I trusted the numbers. And, poor Andy, if he made a bottle and didn't put in perfectly level scoops of formula, he was going to hear about it. It was even worse if he was pouring breast-milk into a bottle and didn't get every last drop of that "liquid gold" into the bottle she would drink! Poor guy couldn't do anything right in my eyes during that time. (More on that later.)
I also had to put Beulah down for naps on time or I would implode. If I needed to go out for any reason during the day, I would get every single little thing we might need while we were out ready while she was asleep, and when she woke up it was go time. If she woke up before I was finished getting ready...well, how many times can I say "anxiety" in one post? If we were out and it was getting close to time for her to go back down, the anxiety would start to rise, I would start rushing, Beulah would start to sense my anxiety and start fussing, then we would just feed off each other creating this vicious cycle. (I managed to get "anxiety" in that sentence two more times! Woo hoo!) It was all about the clock. And, again, I refer to him as "poor Andy", but if he made the slightest sound within Beulah's ear shot while she was sleeping, he saw my eyes turn red with anger.
The Zoloft definitely helped. I could feel myself start to relax a few short days after I started taking it. My doctor wisely recommended that I stay on the medication during the holidays, as they tend to be stressful. So, in January I started to wean. A lot of my old symptoms resurfaced in January. In February, the symptoms were present during ovulation when the hormones shift drastically. In March, the symptoms continued to decrease, and now in April I am starting to feel like my old self again. Praise the LORD!!
I have so much joy every day now. Being Beulah's mom is more than I could ever ask or imagine. Andy and I look at each other everyday and shake our heads in amazement at how happy she is and how blessed we are to be her parents. Andy's mom described it best, we've gone from "Rags to riches!" That's exactly how we feel.
I still try to keep to a schedule, but most of the time I'm WAY more laid back if things aren't going as planned. I'm still obsessed with her cleanliness. For some reason I can't stand the thought of her clothes getting stained or ruined, so I can be pretty controlling during feedings. I tell myself it doesn't matter and I shouldn't be that way, but it doesn't change. And, I'm still trying to figure out how to cope when I'm cooking and she's hanging on my legs. That's the one time I get really anxious. I think it's because cooking is so time sensitive and I can't always just stop and tend to her when there's food on the stove.
In my fog, I felt justified in all of my thoughts and actions. I couldn't imagine feeling any different. I thought everyone else should feel exactly like I did, and I got angry when they didn't. I would tell Andy through tears that I just wanted somebody else to care as much as I did and to understand how important all this was. He and my mom got the brunt of it. They are saints in my eyes. I seemed to control myself better around Andy's mom, but I wasn't hiding anything. She saw it and was a huge help too, as was Andy's sister. Others would come just to sit with me and keep me company, encourage me, or help out if I needed it. I thank God so much for putting people around me to help ground me.
I'm sure I haven't even begun to see all the damage that was done during that time. I know that my controlling behavior effected Andy's confidence as a dad. It made him gun-shy to try anything. He was afraid that I would reprimand him for not doing things like I thought they should be done. But, thankfully, our LORD is in the healing business, and He has started the healing process already. I try to give Andy freedom to become the dad that God wants him to be. I try to stand back and let him find his own ways of interacting with Beulah and his own ways of accomplishing the tasks related to her care. That's not always easy, but it is necessary. It's not just women who go through PPD. Men go through it too. If you know a man going through PPD with his wife, encourage him. Send him a link to this so that he can see there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I thank God for His grace in healing our family. It gives me hope that we could do this again if He chooses to bless us with another child!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Insides Out
As humans, we are captivated by stories. We get lost in books and movies (and unfortunately reality TV), as we witness conflict, love and betrayal, tragedy and hope in other people's lives. We look for windows into their world and watch with anticipation as they face and respond to challenges. We are interested in how they are similar and different from us. Their stories can help us make sense of our own lives and world. God created us that way. That's why the Bible is written as a story, and one reason Jesus spoke in parables. Is it any wonder that the Bible is the world's best seller? I mean, when the author is also our Creator...
This is also why blogs are so popular. We love it when people lay their guts on the table for everyone to see. It moves us emotionally. It draws us back. It motivates us. It helps shape who we are as we agree with, disagree with, learn from, and are challenged by what we read. I like to consider my blog a ministry. I put my insides out there for others to see in hopes that it will help them (you) in some small way. But, unfortunately, due to time, my posts have become little more than a journal of Beulah's development. Of course, that's important, and I love doing it! Her development is ridiculously fascinating to me and maybe a handful of other people (like our parents and other out-of-state relatives), but perhaps not the majority of my followers.
I miss exposing my guts. It's therapy for me. It forces me to reflect and consider why I think and feel the way I do. Over the past year I have drafted 23 posts that have yet to be published. The drafts cover a wide range: sanctification through families, relationship changes after baby, the Holy Spirit as Counselor, breast-feeding, fear, selfishness, good books, PPD (postpartum depression), and many more. I write them in my head, but haven't found the time to put them down in black and white. Sometimes I come to blogger and simply write a title and one or two lines to remind me later where I was going in my head. But, it's time I go back and start hashing some of them out. To my faithful followers, hold on. There will be guts exposed over the next several months.
Interestingly, some of the posts are complete. But, before I hit the "publish" button, "something" told me to wait. I hadn't learned all I needed to learn on the topic yet. Of course, publishing a blog post doesn't make anyone an expert on the topic, but I at least like to think I'm sharing something well thought out that might be of value to someone else when I finally publish it. At this point though, I'm learning so much so fast, that the posts seem to morph before my eyes. So, I realize that I'm going to have to publish posts with the knowledge that there is more learning on the topic in my future. I've closed the book on infertility (Hallelujah!). I feel like God taught me a lot through those six long years, and I felt confident sharing it. But, now I feel like I've entered a world where the book will remain open and require multiple revisions over a lifetime. And, I look forward to baring my soul to you along the way.
This is also why blogs are so popular. We love it when people lay their guts on the table for everyone to see. It moves us emotionally. It draws us back. It motivates us. It helps shape who we are as we agree with, disagree with, learn from, and are challenged by what we read. I like to consider my blog a ministry. I put my insides out there for others to see in hopes that it will help them (you) in some small way. But, unfortunately, due to time, my posts have become little more than a journal of Beulah's development. Of course, that's important, and I love doing it! Her development is ridiculously fascinating to me and maybe a handful of other people (like our parents and other out-of-state relatives), but perhaps not the majority of my followers.
I miss exposing my guts. It's therapy for me. It forces me to reflect and consider why I think and feel the way I do. Over the past year I have drafted 23 posts that have yet to be published. The drafts cover a wide range: sanctification through families, relationship changes after baby, the Holy Spirit as Counselor, breast-feeding, fear, selfishness, good books, PPD (postpartum depression), and many more. I write them in my head, but haven't found the time to put them down in black and white. Sometimes I come to blogger and simply write a title and one or two lines to remind me later where I was going in my head. But, it's time I go back and start hashing some of them out. To my faithful followers, hold on. There will be guts exposed over the next several months.
Interestingly, some of the posts are complete. But, before I hit the "publish" button, "something" told me to wait. I hadn't learned all I needed to learn on the topic yet. Of course, publishing a blog post doesn't make anyone an expert on the topic, but I at least like to think I'm sharing something well thought out that might be of value to someone else when I finally publish it. At this point though, I'm learning so much so fast, that the posts seem to morph before my eyes. So, I realize that I'm going to have to publish posts with the knowledge that there is more learning on the topic in my future. I've closed the book on infertility (Hallelujah!). I feel like God taught me a lot through those six long years, and I felt confident sharing it. But, now I feel like I've entered a world where the book will remain open and require multiple revisions over a lifetime. And, I look forward to baring my soul to you along the way.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Happy 1st Birthday, Beulah!!
I can't think of a more glorious day to have a first Birthday than Easter Sunday! All praise to God our Father, and Jesus Christ His Son for conquering sin and death on the cross, and offering us new life in Him through His resurrection! Life is worth living because He lives!!
This has been such a fun month. Beulah is bursting with personality, as you'll see in the pictures and videos. I finally got video of the knee bounce and of her taking steps (see videos)! She will be walking any day now!
You've probably noticed that I'm not in a lot of pictures with Beulah, but I think my mama is going to remedy that. One of our favorite things to do is Skype with our families. While we are video conferencing, my mom takes pictures with her web-cam and sends them to me. So, in the pictures, you should be able to see how much fun Beulah and I have together. She has become so affectionate over the past month. She gives hugs now! Mostly to me and her stuffed animals. :) It is one of the best feelings in the world! She loves to bite my nose (with her FOUR new teeth!) and pull my hair (see pictures). She thinks it's hilarious, so I don't mind. If we tell her to love her animals, she hugs them tight to her chest and twists from side to side, and sometimes she gives them kisses.
My little copy cat has learned a few new gestures that crack me up; batting her eye lashes, shrugging her shoulders while turning her palms up and shaking her head (as if to say, "I don't know."), fake laughing, and making kissey sounds. She loves to go back and forth with her grandparents on Skype showing off her new tricks. She's also figured out how to hold the cell phone to her ear and say "Hi". What? She's just now a year old! Oh boy, we're in for it!
Speaking of being in for it, she has continued to be pretty dramatic at meal time. She's started throwing her food on the floor. We're working on that, but in the meantime, I'm doing an awful lot of entertaining just to get food in her. She has a crazy loud squeal that we hear at almost every mealtime, but we also hear it anytime she's found something she likes that we have to take away for some reason. Man, she can be feisty!! Feisty, but also silly. We will ask her a question like, "Do you want to get your diaper changed?", and she will grin and shake her head "no". Sometimes her responses have perfect comedic timing.
Beulah is super observant and has started to figure out how some things work. Her physical development doesn't seem to have caught up to her cognitive, because she can get pretty frustrated when she can't make something work that she knows should work. Besides the cell phone, she has figured out cabinets, drawers, zip locks, lids and containers, stacking cups, drinking from a sippy cup, velcro, shoes, headbands and balls. She holds the bottom of a shoe up to the bottom of her foot and then offers me the shoe so that I can put it on her. As soon as I put the shoe on her, she unlatches the velcro and takes it off, then it becomes a game. Her daddy has been amazed at the fact that she's learned how to throw a ball! Aim is another story. But throwing, she gets! And, I don't know where she learned how to put on a horseshoe shaped headband (I've never worn one, and neither has she) but, she has one to play with, and she'll put it on her head (upside down, no less) and leave it there! She knows it's funny, so she starts cracking up. This child is too big for her britches!
This month, Beulah's verbal skills are developing fast. Besides "mama" and "dada", we've clearly heard her say "dog". Usually, when we see a dog we say, "doggie". She got very excited when she saw Pedro the other day and started saying, "ah-ggie, ah-ggie"!! It was such a great moment for me!! We also mock animal sounds with her a lot, and she will mimick our dog, monkey and goat sounds! This is SUCH a fun age!
Board books are one of Beulah's favorite things. A friend who was working in the church nursery one Sunday said that she just sat there looking at books most of the time. She'll open the pages and look at them. And, she's very tactile, so she loves the touch and feel books. But, she can also be very lively! If we put her on the couch, she will cruise the length of the couch as fast as she can, and when she gets to the end, she'll either fall backwards (trusting that she'll land on the soft cushions or that we'll catch her), or she'll try to climb over the arm onto the floor! One time she went over so fast I had to catch her by her leg! And, she LOVES to flip. So, when she starts this wild streak, we usually add some flips in to really liven things up. :)
Beulah had an awesome first birthday party. There will be more pics, etc. to come in the next few days. It was a blast, and she did great!!
I can't help but feel overwhelmed by our blessings today as we celebrate Beulah's birthday AND the resurrection of our Savior! Thank you God for the birth of this miracle one year ago today, and thank you for loving us enough that you allowed your Son to die so that she might have life.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Beulah's Film Debut!!
A friend of Mike's was looking for a baby for a quick shot in a short film they were shooting. It took about an hour to get the shots they wanted of her. It was freezing outside, so she had on her snow suit. But, she did great, and had fun too! The director did an amazing job, because it sure looks like the dog was coming after Beulah. But, he never once barked or in any way put her in danger. Such a good dog, and such good film makers! Thanks, Meagan, Jake, and crew for the experience!
Enjoy Home.
Enjoy Home.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Beulah, 11 Months!
In one month my baby will be ONE!! When parents say time flies, they're not kidding! We are having so much fun watching her grow. And, thank God for cameras!
Beulah is starting to take steps! She usually gets one step in before she decides she needs to sit and crawl. But, hey, ya gotta start somewhere, right?! She will walk short distances holding just one of our fingers though!
She's still head banging, but she's added a new little knee bounce and head-shake to her dance, which I have yet to catch on video. Every time she sees the camera come out she tries to come and get it (see video). So, I'll have to try and sneak to get a shot of that so you can enjoy it with us. It'll be well worth the wait. :) Somehow though, I did capture a still shot of her standing unsupported (see picture)! It was a freak moment when I was trying to get a picture of her doing something else, but I was more than happy to get that instead!
Beulah has gotten really good at mimicking us. This is the age when you have to start being careful of what you say and do. It's also the beginning of us seeing how we act as she repeats it back to us. This should be fun!
She copies us when we...
*open our mouths wide and say "Ahhhh".
*bat our eye lashes (hilarious!).
*wave.
*nod.
*shake our heads.
*bounce.
*sway.
*make mouth sounds.
She's also started saying "Hi" and "Bye"! That's been really fun! Even if I'm just hanging up the phone, when she hears me say "Bye", she waves and says "Bye"! She's not as consistent with saying "Hi", but she can do it when she wants to. On occasion she'll mimic us when we make certain word sounds too.
Beulah has become quite feisty at meal times. She's decided she only wants finger food. Pureed or finely mashed foods aren't good enough anymore. Unfortunately, when you only have three teeth, your choices are pretty limited. So, we have a battle of the wills pretty much every time she eats. She's learned that she has to eat the spoon fed foods too though, and will do it rather reluctantly most of the time. We're exploring our options on how to foster this excitement for finger foods in her while still getting all the nutrients she needs as well. If it were up to her, she'd only eat puffs all day every day. But, she also loves banana, avocado, grapes, strawberries, and eggs, which are all soft enough to mush with her tongue. When, she gets the foods she wants, she says, "Num, num, num". And, she hums all the way through her meal, just like her mama. :) Oh, and she must eat with her right foot up on her tray (see picture). Sometimes she'll take a bite of toe in between. :)
She's doing pretty good with the sippy cup (see picture), although, sometimes she gets too much and chokes. I guess that's all part of learning. The mouth piece on her sippy cup is silicone though, and she'd much rather chew it that drink from it. I think any drinking she does is probably accidental. Maybe that's why she chokes!
A handful of nights this month, Beulah slept 10-12 hours without waking up one time! *singing Hallelujah Chorus* Otherwise, she's only waking up once for about five minutes and then she's back down till morning! Earlier in the month, I was walking her in the night and just prayed that God would grant her the gift of sleep. I prayed that He would progress her towards restful sleep through the night, and she got better almost instantly! Praise the Lord! And, thankfully, the first night she slept through was the night I woke up at 3 AM with a stomach bug. It was great to not have to worry about her while I was so sick. Then, poor thing, she caught it from her cousin a week and a half later. :( Oh, so pittyful.
Beulah is starting to take steps! She usually gets one step in before she decides she needs to sit and crawl. But, hey, ya gotta start somewhere, right?! She will walk short distances holding just one of our fingers though!
She's still head banging, but she's added a new little knee bounce and head-shake to her dance, which I have yet to catch on video. Every time she sees the camera come out she tries to come and get it (see video). So, I'll have to try and sneak to get a shot of that so you can enjoy it with us. It'll be well worth the wait. :) Somehow though, I did capture a still shot of her standing unsupported (see picture)! It was a freak moment when I was trying to get a picture of her doing something else, but I was more than happy to get that instead!
Beulah has gotten really good at mimicking us. This is the age when you have to start being careful of what you say and do. It's also the beginning of us seeing how we act as she repeats it back to us. This should be fun!
She copies us when we...
*open our mouths wide and say "Ahhhh".
*bat our eye lashes (hilarious!).
*wave.
*nod.
*shake our heads.
*bounce.
*sway.
*make mouth sounds.
She's also started saying "Hi" and "Bye"! That's been really fun! Even if I'm just hanging up the phone, when she hears me say "Bye", she waves and says "Bye"! She's not as consistent with saying "Hi", but she can do it when she wants to. On occasion she'll mimic us when we make certain word sounds too.
Beulah has become quite feisty at meal times. She's decided she only wants finger food. Pureed or finely mashed foods aren't good enough anymore. Unfortunately, when you only have three teeth, your choices are pretty limited. So, we have a battle of the wills pretty much every time she eats. She's learned that she has to eat the spoon fed foods too though, and will do it rather reluctantly most of the time. We're exploring our options on how to foster this excitement for finger foods in her while still getting all the nutrients she needs as well. If it were up to her, she'd only eat puffs all day every day. But, she also loves banana, avocado, grapes, strawberries, and eggs, which are all soft enough to mush with her tongue. When, she gets the foods she wants, she says, "Num, num, num". And, she hums all the way through her meal, just like her mama. :) Oh, and she must eat with her right foot up on her tray (see picture). Sometimes she'll take a bite of toe in between. :)
She's doing pretty good with the sippy cup (see picture), although, sometimes she gets too much and chokes. I guess that's all part of learning. The mouth piece on her sippy cup is silicone though, and she'd much rather chew it that drink from it. I think any drinking she does is probably accidental. Maybe that's why she chokes!
A handful of nights this month, Beulah slept 10-12 hours without waking up one time! *singing Hallelujah Chorus* Otherwise, she's only waking up once for about five minutes and then she's back down till morning! Earlier in the month, I was walking her in the night and just prayed that God would grant her the gift of sleep. I prayed that He would progress her towards restful sleep through the night, and she got better almost instantly! Praise the Lord! And, thankfully, the first night she slept through was the night I woke up at 3 AM with a stomach bug. It was great to not have to worry about her while I was so sick. Then, poor thing, she caught it from her cousin a week and a half later. :( Oh, so pittyful.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Beulah, 10 Months!
January has been a mixed bag. The month started out great, with family in town and us settling back at home from the holidays. But, honestly, I'm having a hard time remembering much from this month other than the past two weeks! I feel like this has been a month of very few changes in Beulah's development. Most noticeably, she just looks so grown up to me! Besides that, the two major things I can think of right now are that she knows how to give "five", and she's learned to shake her head "no". :) I think she got that from me, because sometimes when I sit in the back-seat with her, I shake my head so that my hair will fly around and it makes her laugh. And, I LOVE to make her laugh. :) She also thinks it's hysterical when people put things on their heads or on her head.
As you'll see in the video, she loves to head bang. That's something you just can't teach a baby. She's a natural! Sometimes when she's mixing music at her Learn & Groove table, she'll stand on her own for 3-5 seconds. And, her cruising skills are definitely improving. She can really kick it behind her walker! It's hilarious to watch her move so fast (see video). And then, when she hits a roadblock, she stops and looks at it like, "Hey! Get out of the way!", at which point she starts ramming the walker into it. I think I heard her say "TAWANDA" once! (see video below for explanation) :)
You should stop the video at 2:00 if you're offended by cursing. :)
Several months ago we let Andy's brother, Mike, and his wife, Ria, adopt Pedro. We were sad for Beulah, but fortunately, they live across the street, and she gets to see him pretty much every week still. It was best for him because with all of the attention Beulah needed early on, Pedro was severely neglected. He wasn't getting the exercise or attention he needed or deserved, and now he goes for walks regularly and is definitely well loved. Since the flood, we have been staying with Mike & Ria, and Beulah has been so happy to be reunited with Pedro! I think Pedro is happy too, but now Beulah can pull up and often uses his collar or ears as a gripping point (see pictures). :) The first week we were there, we all had the most fun watching Beulah and Pedro together. But, it has also been awesome for Beulah to get to spend this extended time with her aunt and uncle, and fun too! (see video) And, since we've been here, Beulah saw her first snow!
Unfortunately, this week has been a different story. Beulah started out the week with her first fever. Not even Pedro could make her smile. She has never been a cuddly baby, but for three days, all she wanted to do was be held and sleep on us. Since the fever broke (at 102.1 degrees), she has developed a rash; pretty sure it's Roseola. She's also having more tummy troubles, which could be the result of my increased dairy intake since the flood. It's just been easier to eat it since we're not cooking for ourselves in our own home. But, I'm going to make a more concerted effort to lay off dairy since it could be causing her so much discomfort. Anyway, she's been miserable on and off all week. But, there have been some bright spots in the week and we've seen some smiles and laughter. And, for her 10 month birthday, she's getting new floors! They should be in next week! Praise the Lord!!
As you'll see in the video, she loves to head bang. That's something you just can't teach a baby. She's a natural! Sometimes when she's mixing music at her Learn & Groove table, she'll stand on her own for 3-5 seconds. And, her cruising skills are definitely improving. She can really kick it behind her walker! It's hilarious to watch her move so fast (see video). And then, when she hits a roadblock, she stops and looks at it like, "Hey! Get out of the way!", at which point she starts ramming the walker into it. I think I heard her say "TAWANDA" once! (see video below for explanation) :)
You should stop the video at 2:00 if you're offended by cursing. :)
Several months ago we let Andy's brother, Mike, and his wife, Ria, adopt Pedro. We were sad for Beulah, but fortunately, they live across the street, and she gets to see him pretty much every week still. It was best for him because with all of the attention Beulah needed early on, Pedro was severely neglected. He wasn't getting the exercise or attention he needed or deserved, and now he goes for walks regularly and is definitely well loved. Since the flood, we have been staying with Mike & Ria, and Beulah has been so happy to be reunited with Pedro! I think Pedro is happy too, but now Beulah can pull up and often uses his collar or ears as a gripping point (see pictures). :) The first week we were there, we all had the most fun watching Beulah and Pedro together. But, it has also been awesome for Beulah to get to spend this extended time with her aunt and uncle, and fun too! (see video) And, since we've been here, Beulah saw her first snow!
Unfortunately, this week has been a different story. Beulah started out the week with her first fever. Not even Pedro could make her smile. She has never been a cuddly baby, but for three days, all she wanted to do was be held and sleep on us. Since the fever broke (at 102.1 degrees), she has developed a rash; pretty sure it's Roseola. She's also having more tummy troubles, which could be the result of my increased dairy intake since the flood. It's just been easier to eat it since we're not cooking for ourselves in our own home. But, I'm going to make a more concerted effort to lay off dairy since it could be causing her so much discomfort. Anyway, she's been miserable on and off all week. But, there have been some bright spots in the week and we've seen some smiles and laughter. And, for her 10 month birthday, she's getting new floors! They should be in next week! Praise the Lord!!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Flood Status Update
I wanted to get some pictures up of the damage from the flood. Unfortunately, I didn't get any pictures of the house when the water was at it's highest. I wasn't thinking about pictures at that time, as you might imagine. I started taking pictures after Lorne had extracted the two inches of standing water, and they were trying to get the wet carpet and pad up as quickly as possible to minimize further damage. Believe it or not, Beulah slept through the whole ordeal. There was metal on metal hammering, drilling, loud talking over machines and equipment, ect. Andy and Lorne were running around ripping up carpet and linoleum like they were in a race. It was pretty crazy to watch! I can't say enough about how grateful we are for Lorne and H2O Drying Solutions. The damage would have been A LOT worse if it weren't for him.
These are not great videos, but they give you a good idea of what we were dealing with.
Water running around from behind our building, across our front yards and down the street.
Water running across our patio just outside our back door.
The downstairs is still gutted, but we have some incredibly generous friends coming tomorrow to repair the dry wall and we should have new floors in sometime next week. Lorne ended up having to take out the cabinets on the wall between us and our neighbor where the water was coming in so that he could cut out the wet dry wall. The cabinets seem to be OK, thank God. Insurance won't pay for any of this, even though it came in through our neighbor's unit. The insurance adjuster said that Andy was mislead when he was told that there may be a chance they'd cover it if it didn't come through our back door, but came from the neighbor's unit instead. We didn't have flood insurance because we were told that we weren't in the flood plain. But, Andy requested a copy of the FEMA report from last year, and it looks like we ARE in the flood plain (duh!) and should have been notified by our mortgage company. We've got a little more investigating to do on that issue. Meanwhile, the City of Fort Mill is investigating where the responsibility lies and will hopefully be fixing the storm drain and raising the levee soon to prevent this from happening again (see video below). It makes us kind of wary to replace the floors if there's a chance this could happen again, and we've got rain coming this weekend. But, our house is unlivable as it is, so we need to move ahead.
We're still at Mike and Ria's house, and we're all really enjoying living together! I stay here with Beulah during the day and clean and cook when I can, then when Andy, Mike & Ria get home from work, we all eat together, play with Beulah, and then relax until bed. It's been fun! We're incredibly grateful for their generosity in opening their home to us. Many of you have also offered your homes and other resources, and we couldn't be more humbled by the offers to help. We are so so so blessed! Thank you, and thank God for you!!
Looking in from the outside, this all might seem like a mess. But, God is sovereign. This was no surprise to Him. He had a plan before it happened, and he's allowed many blessings to come from this. Our trials are never in vain. I have always said that the worst things that have ever happened to me are the best things that have ever happened to me. (I wouldn't have met Andy if I hadn't broken my neck, for example!) Here are just a few of the blessings that have come from this experience.
*Spending extended time and sharing space with Mike & Ria has been an incredible blessing; not just for us, but for Beulah as well. She interacts with them on a whole new level, and they don't seem to mind. :)
*H2O Drying Solutions got a lot of business because neighbors in need saw Lorne's business truck on our road in the middle of the night. They have worked tirelessly all week helping us and our neighbors.
*We have connected with a neighbor that we had a strained relationship with.
*We've connected with neighbors that we didn't know before, and Andy (along with the rest of the HOA board) had a chance to help them out post-flood. See the media coverage by WCNC here.
*Friends and family have pulled together and helped emotionally, spiritually (through prayer and encouragement), financially, materially, and physically (giving food and lodging). Thank you, all of you!
We'll continue to follow the story on whether the city will take responsibility for what happened or not.
Monday, January 25, 2010
The Flood of 2010
As I was taking pictures last night we joked that we would label them in Beulah's baby book as "The Flood of 2010". However, I hesitated to use this title here, because even though we lost all of our flooring downstairs last night, our furniture, cabinets, walls, etc. were all salvaged. And, while the damage seems horrible in our small little world, we are reminded of the many people who have lost entire homes, businesses, or family members in different parts of the country over time, and most recently, in Haiti.
I can truly say God is good! It just so happens that we have a friend who owns an emergency water damage business. Lorne was at our house from 3-6 AM extracting the water that had already made it's way inside, ripping up carpets and linoleum, and setting up fans to dry the place out. Because he got there so quickly, our furniture, appliances, and cabinets were salvaged. Thank God, and thank you, Lorne! It looks like we'll only be replacing the downstairs floors and some towels and blankets. Unfortunately, we are one of the families mentioned in the news clips that didn't have flood insurance.
We've had dozens of offers for help with food, housing, etc. We are RICHLY blessed to be a part of a community of people that knows how to love. Mike & Ria are graciously allowing us to stay at their place, conveniently located across the street, until things gets back in order at our home. It looks like it'll be another couple of days before we can get an insurance evaluation to see if the water came in the back door or through our neighbor's unit. Fortunately for him, he did have flood insurance. If the water came in our unit through his, it could fair well for us because it could be coded differently. Once we know where the money is going to come from, we'll get the floors put down and can move back in. Keep us in your prayers.
Andy's a star!! Oh, and so is our garbage can that's rolling around in the raging storm water. :)
WSOC TV
Fort Mill Times
The Herald
WBTV News
I can truly say God is good! It just so happens that we have a friend who owns an emergency water damage business. Lorne was at our house from 3-6 AM extracting the water that had already made it's way inside, ripping up carpets and linoleum, and setting up fans to dry the place out. Because he got there so quickly, our furniture, appliances, and cabinets were salvaged. Thank God, and thank you, Lorne! It looks like we'll only be replacing the downstairs floors and some towels and blankets. Unfortunately, we are one of the families mentioned in the news clips that didn't have flood insurance.
We've had dozens of offers for help with food, housing, etc. We are RICHLY blessed to be a part of a community of people that knows how to love. Mike & Ria are graciously allowing us to stay at their place, conveniently located across the street, until things gets back in order at our home. It looks like it'll be another couple of days before we can get an insurance evaluation to see if the water came in the back door or through our neighbor's unit. Fortunately for him, he did have flood insurance. If the water came in our unit through his, it could fair well for us because it could be coded differently. Once we know where the money is going to come from, we'll get the floors put down and can move back in. Keep us in your prayers.
Andy's a star!! Oh, and so is our garbage can that's rolling around in the raging storm water. :)
WSOC TV
Fort Mill Times
The Herald
WBTV News
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Parenting by THE Book
Having taught dance in public schools for eight years, I learned a lot about "raising" children. Discipline was my greatest strength in the classroom. I considered myself to be fair and caring towards my students. Once, when I got laryngitis, I taught six classes a day for three days with no voice. I whispered and used body language and instruments to guide students' learning. When our upcoming Principal noticed that I had zero discipline problems those days despite the fact that an average of 30 elementary aged kids were actively dancing around my classroom at any given moment, he said, "Now, that's the mark of a good teacher!" It's true enough that when you walk into a classroom where the kids are well behaved and following directions, you think they MUST have a good teacher. But, lately I've realized that good parenting is nothing like "good teaching"*.
I vividly remember learning how to approach discipline in my Ed Psyc classes in college. There are different styles of discipline, and students have different responses to each style. We also learned how to motivate students to learn and behave. I specifically remember learning the terms "intrinsic" and "extrinsic" motivation. Students are motivated intrinsically if they have a personal connection with the given material. They display intrinsic motivation when they are compliant and behave appropriately because they WANT to, as opposed to being forced. Extrinsic motivation is when students learn or behave because they are being manipulated by some external factor; i.e. rewards or punishment.
My classroom, composed of students of varying ethnicities, socioeconomic statuses, religious beliefs, and skill levels, was controlled by rewards and punishment. I tried to present new material in terms that would be interesting to the average student, but motivating every single student using something s/he would have a vested interest in is nearly impossible when they come from such varied backgrounds. So, I settled for Time Out when a student was so disinterested that s/he would rather make their friend laugh. I offered dance parties to classes who had the least Time Outs each semester. We gave pizza parties to the most well behaved 5th grade class each semester. And the list for rewards and punishments goes on and on. Disciplining using extrinsic motivators is ingrained in me. It would take an act of God to change that. And, with the help of some AMAZING resources, I believe the process has begun.
I recently watched The Case for Kids by Dr. Tedd Tripp and his brother Dr. Paul David Tripp. It has changed my whole way of thinking about discipline, and especially disciplining in a Christian home.
As Christian parents, our goal is to raise up children who love God above all else, and who (in response) live to love and serve others. We want them to be so humbled by God's love for them that they are compelled to share His love with others and desire nothing more than to bring Him glory. Well, that sounds all fine and good, but how do you do that? Obviously that can't be accomplished by manipulating kids with rewards and punishments. Paul and Tedd Tripp made the point that extrinsic motivators don't touch the heart of the child. In this DVD series, they give practical advice on how to live, speak, and train your children to be motivated to live and obey out of a love for God and a grateful heart for what He has done for us. They put special emphasis on the fact that we're all sinners with no hope (parents and children alike) apart from the redemption offered to us through Christ Jesus. Can you imagine your child fully grasping that and living out of a true understanding of who God is and what He has done? Oh, GLORY!!
If you are a Christian parent, you don't want to go another day without seeing this material. The beautiful thing is, Paul and Tedd make it clear that it is never too late to start parenting this way, no matter how old your children are. If you live in the Fort Mill area, Eternal will be showing the DVDs before worship on Sunday mornings (9:15 AM at the Baxter YMCA) starting in February, and you are more than welcome to join us for the viewing and discussion. Childcare will be provided. If you can't make it, I HIGHLY recommend you find another way to see it, if possible.
If you can't find a way to see the videos (and even if you do), you will do well to read the two books that the series is based off of. Tedd Tripp's Shepherding a Child's Heart (which also has a handbook and instructor's guide if you want to study it with a group) and Paul David Tripp's Age of Opportunity. Couple your reading with the featured Resurgence Audio and Video of Tedd Tripp speaking at Mars Hill Church in Seattle, WA, and you'll get a good feel for what the DVD series is all about.
I have also been reading a book that is really encouraging to me (thanks, Priscilla!). A Mother's Heart, by Jean Fleming, is a great book about viewing your family as your number one ministry and how to balance life with raising children in a Christian home. Moms, it's worth a read, for many reasons.
I would encourage you to step back and evaluate your parenting using Scripture. But, it would do us all well to remember...
"As [parents] we can do nothing to persuade or convince our children to love God...We can teach our children about God, pray for them, live the Christian life before them, and expose them to others who love and serve God. But only God can give them spiritual life. God doesn't need our help, but in His sovereign plan He invites us to take part actively--to colabor with Him as He works in their lives."--Jean Fleming
May God bless you as you strive to raise His children for Him.
*Just because someone is a skilled disciplinarian doesn't mean s/he is gifted to lead a large number of students with differing learning abilities, levels, and backgrounds towards mastery of curriculum. But, that's not the point of this blog...just a side note. :)
I vividly remember learning how to approach discipline in my Ed Psyc classes in college. There are different styles of discipline, and students have different responses to each style. We also learned how to motivate students to learn and behave. I specifically remember learning the terms "intrinsic" and "extrinsic" motivation. Students are motivated intrinsically if they have a personal connection with the given material. They display intrinsic motivation when they are compliant and behave appropriately because they WANT to, as opposed to being forced. Extrinsic motivation is when students learn or behave because they are being manipulated by some external factor; i.e. rewards or punishment.
My classroom, composed of students of varying ethnicities, socioeconomic statuses, religious beliefs, and skill levels, was controlled by rewards and punishment. I tried to present new material in terms that would be interesting to the average student, but motivating every single student using something s/he would have a vested interest in is nearly impossible when they come from such varied backgrounds. So, I settled for Time Out when a student was so disinterested that s/he would rather make their friend laugh. I offered dance parties to classes who had the least Time Outs each semester. We gave pizza parties to the most well behaved 5th grade class each semester. And the list for rewards and punishments goes on and on. Disciplining using extrinsic motivators is ingrained in me. It would take an act of God to change that. And, with the help of some AMAZING resources, I believe the process has begun.
I recently watched The Case for Kids by Dr. Tedd Tripp and his brother Dr. Paul David Tripp. It has changed my whole way of thinking about discipline, and especially disciplining in a Christian home.
As Christian parents, our goal is to raise up children who love God above all else, and who (in response) live to love and serve others. We want them to be so humbled by God's love for them that they are compelled to share His love with others and desire nothing more than to bring Him glory. Well, that sounds all fine and good, but how do you do that? Obviously that can't be accomplished by manipulating kids with rewards and punishments. Paul and Tedd Tripp made the point that extrinsic motivators don't touch the heart of the child. In this DVD series, they give practical advice on how to live, speak, and train your children to be motivated to live and obey out of a love for God and a grateful heart for what He has done for us. They put special emphasis on the fact that we're all sinners with no hope (parents and children alike) apart from the redemption offered to us through Christ Jesus. Can you imagine your child fully grasping that and living out of a true understanding of who God is and what He has done? Oh, GLORY!!
If you are a Christian parent, you don't want to go another day without seeing this material. The beautiful thing is, Paul and Tedd make it clear that it is never too late to start parenting this way, no matter how old your children are. If you live in the Fort Mill area, Eternal will be showing the DVDs before worship on Sunday mornings (9:15 AM at the Baxter YMCA) starting in February, and you are more than welcome to join us for the viewing and discussion. Childcare will be provided. If you can't make it, I HIGHLY recommend you find another way to see it, if possible.
If you can't find a way to see the videos (and even if you do), you will do well to read the two books that the series is based off of. Tedd Tripp's Shepherding a Child's Heart (which also has a handbook and instructor's guide if you want to study it with a group) and Paul David Tripp's Age of Opportunity. Couple your reading with the featured Resurgence Audio and Video of Tedd Tripp speaking at Mars Hill Church in Seattle, WA, and you'll get a good feel for what the DVD series is all about.
I have also been reading a book that is really encouraging to me (thanks, Priscilla!). A Mother's Heart, by Jean Fleming, is a great book about viewing your family as your number one ministry and how to balance life with raising children in a Christian home. Moms, it's worth a read, for many reasons.
I would encourage you to step back and evaluate your parenting using Scripture. But, it would do us all well to remember...
"As [parents] we can do nothing to persuade or convince our children to love God...We can teach our children about God, pray for them, live the Christian life before them, and expose them to others who love and serve God. But only God can give them spiritual life. God doesn't need our help, but in His sovereign plan He invites us to take part actively--to colabor with Him as He works in their lives."--Jean Fleming
May God bless you as you strive to raise His children for Him.
*Just because someone is a skilled disciplinarian doesn't mean s/he is gifted to lead a large number of students with differing learning abilities, levels, and backgrounds towards mastery of curriculum. But, that's not the point of this blog...just a side note. :)
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Noise VS Solitude
Back in September, Skip preached a sermon at Eternal about Living with the End in Mind. As the message progressed, I became increasingly aware of how temporal my thinking had become since I got pregnant. I started this post that week, but felt that my meditation on the issue wasn't complete, so I couldn't post it. Now, I feel like I have a lot more insight to share.
Since I stopped working full time in the summer of '08, thoughts of pregnancy, caring for a baby, and being a mom consumed me, I've regretted the fact that I haven't spent time in the Word. I blamed God, telling Him that He wasn't giving me the desire and saying, "I can't manufacture a desire, can I?" In other words, "What are YOU going to do about this?" I knew I needed it, but the blame was in the wrong place. I was just blind to the real reason I didn't have the desire at the time.
Looking back, I have realized that the one major contributor to my distance from God was television. I had no idea how much it was consuming my thought life and what a distraction it was to me. Breaking up with TV has been the best thing I've done for myself, my spirit, and my family.
Billy Graham said, "Mothers should cultivate their souls that in turn they may cultivate the souls of their children."
Jean Fleming, author of A Mother's Heart put it this way, "The single most important decision a mother can make is to develop her own life with God. Unless she nurtures herself spiritually first, she will have no base from which to have a positive spiritual influence on her children."
I knew this. The problem was, I was so distant that I couldn't see how deeply my addiction to TV was affecting me (or my family). Even when I wasn't actively listening to what was being said on the TV, it was still consuming the second space of my mind. What I mean is, there was never any quiet time in my head to think about or listen to God because there was always noise. Besides that, I didn't realize how much of what I was hearing throughout the day was infiltrating my mind. Culture influences us, especially when we spend a greater part of the day listening to it's "wisdom" rather than the LORD's. I counted on TV to be my companion, not God.
I wonder if postpartum would have been as hard if my spiritual life had been more in tact. That's not to say that postpartum depression is not real or that women don't have different degrees of it. It most certainly IS real, and I can't attribute the full scope of it to spiritual issues. I just wonder, for myself, how much my lack of listening and meditating contributed to the depths of my depression and lack of hope.
Someone whose spirit is not being fed is less patient, and therefore less loving, kind, and gentle. S/He will find that living in a state of peace and finding joy in everyday responsibilities and relationships is challenging, if not impossible. Think for a minute how this affects your family. I regret the time I've spent away from God. I've missed out on blessings, and have, no doubt, made things difficult for my family.
Fortunately, God didn't leave me alone. He placed in me the desire to turn off the TV. At the time, I thought it was for Beulah's sake. Now I realize that it was for my own, and in turn for my whole family. I know a lot of you were praying for me. You shared with me how much you have enjoyed living without TV, and I wanted that too. THANK YOU for your prayers! God made it easy for me to quit! After only a day or two without TV, I would consider watching it for 30 minutes or an hour while Beulah was sleeping and I was cleaning up. I would turn it on, and after 10 minutes I was uninterested or disgusted and had to turn it off. Instead, I've listened to sermons online or watched DVDs on parenting that have changed my life! (More on that in a future post.) These days, the only thing you'll see on the TV during the daytime is the Weather Channel. Beulah and I like the music. :)
If your prayer life and desire to read the Word is suffering, consider the source of the noise consuming your head space. If your spirit is crippled by a TV addiction like mine was, I challenge you to turn it off. Give it a week, and see what God does in your life. I feel like I have been revived, and I want that for you too.
Romans 12:2 "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--His good, pleasing and perfect will." Praise God!!
If you need help, check out Mark Driscoll's blog series Organizing a Silence and Solitude Day.
Since I stopped working full time in the summer of '08, thoughts of pregnancy, caring for a baby, and being a mom consumed me, I've regretted the fact that I haven't spent time in the Word. I blamed God, telling Him that He wasn't giving me the desire and saying, "I can't manufacture a desire, can I?" In other words, "What are YOU going to do about this?" I knew I needed it, but the blame was in the wrong place. I was just blind to the real reason I didn't have the desire at the time.
Looking back, I have realized that the one major contributor to my distance from God was television. I had no idea how much it was consuming my thought life and what a distraction it was to me. Breaking up with TV has been the best thing I've done for myself, my spirit, and my family.
Billy Graham said, "Mothers should cultivate their souls that in turn they may cultivate the souls of their children."
Jean Fleming, author of A Mother's Heart put it this way, "The single most important decision a mother can make is to develop her own life with God. Unless she nurtures herself spiritually first, she will have no base from which to have a positive spiritual influence on her children."
I knew this. The problem was, I was so distant that I couldn't see how deeply my addiction to TV was affecting me (or my family). Even when I wasn't actively listening to what was being said on the TV, it was still consuming the second space of my mind. What I mean is, there was never any quiet time in my head to think about or listen to God because there was always noise. Besides that, I didn't realize how much of what I was hearing throughout the day was infiltrating my mind. Culture influences us, especially when we spend a greater part of the day listening to it's "wisdom" rather than the LORD's. I counted on TV to be my companion, not God.
I wonder if postpartum would have been as hard if my spiritual life had been more in tact. That's not to say that postpartum depression is not real or that women don't have different degrees of it. It most certainly IS real, and I can't attribute the full scope of it to spiritual issues. I just wonder, for myself, how much my lack of listening and meditating contributed to the depths of my depression and lack of hope.
Someone whose spirit is not being fed is less patient, and therefore less loving, kind, and gentle. S/He will find that living in a state of peace and finding joy in everyday responsibilities and relationships is challenging, if not impossible. Think for a minute how this affects your family. I regret the time I've spent away from God. I've missed out on blessings, and have, no doubt, made things difficult for my family.
Fortunately, God didn't leave me alone. He placed in me the desire to turn off the TV. At the time, I thought it was for Beulah's sake. Now I realize that it was for my own, and in turn for my whole family. I know a lot of you were praying for me. You shared with me how much you have enjoyed living without TV, and I wanted that too. THANK YOU for your prayers! God made it easy for me to quit! After only a day or two without TV, I would consider watching it for 30 minutes or an hour while Beulah was sleeping and I was cleaning up. I would turn it on, and after 10 minutes I was uninterested or disgusted and had to turn it off. Instead, I've listened to sermons online or watched DVDs on parenting that have changed my life! (More on that in a future post.) These days, the only thing you'll see on the TV during the daytime is the Weather Channel. Beulah and I like the music. :)
If your prayer life and desire to read the Word is suffering, consider the source of the noise consuming your head space. If your spirit is crippled by a TV addiction like mine was, I challenge you to turn it off. Give it a week, and see what God does in your life. I feel like I have been revived, and I want that for you too.
Romans 12:2 "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--His good, pleasing and perfect will." Praise God!!
If you need help, check out Mark Driscoll's blog series Organizing a Silence and Solitude Day.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Beulah, 9 Months!
This is SUCH fun age! Beulah seems happier every day, and it's obvious to everyone who sees her. When we're out, strangers say, "She's the happiest baby!" One night we were seated in the middle of a restaurant, watching our 8.5 month old literally work the room! She made every single person in the place smile at her, and when the servers walked by, she clapped! It is such a joy to watch and enjoy her and see others enjoying her.
Beulah's first Christmas was awesome! We were in GA, and of course, she was the center of attention. Eight to nine months is the perfect age for Christmas and opening presents (see video). She didn't understand why she couldn't eat the paper, but she loved tearing it and climbing on (or in) the boxes (see pictures and video). Again, who needs toys?! Actually, I never really considered how important toys are to a child's development before Beulah, but it's amazing to see how they help her accomplish new skills everyday. Beulah's new favorite toy is her Learn & Groove Musical Table by Leap Frog (see pictures and video). It is SO fun to watch her cruise around the table playing with the different instruments. It has really helped strengthen her legs and back as she stands at the table to play, not to mention her hand-eye coordination and understanding of cause and effect. This is by far my favorite toy of hers. I would recommend it to anyone with a child 7+ months old.
Beulah also got a walker to push around the room (see video). She's doing really good! It won't be long now before she starts taking steps on her own! She's really good at cruising from one piece of furniture to another, and sometimes she lets go for a second or two! She also climbed the stairs at her Uncle Mike and Aunt Ria's! Thanks to her other toys from friends and family, she's also learned to put objects into a container, and even plays games with us. She'll play peek-a-boo with her bib, pulling it up over her face until she hears, "Where's Beulah?" at which time she pulls it down and laughs. So fun!! She learned another game from her Paw Paw (my dad). He rolled her little miniature wagon around, and each time it passed her she'd either put her toy in it or take it out. She will also offer me her spoon, which I take with my mouth, then I offer it back to her. It's a fun, hands free game we like to play. She's learned to mimic certain gestures, like waving, clapping, and sticking out her tongue, and she can respond to instruction. She claps and waves when we ask her to, and she stops when she hears us say, "No!" "Danger!" or "Not for baby!"
CUTE THINGS BEULAH DOES (besides everything mentioned above!)
*Beulah will pull up on something (usually her music table), and start bobbin' her head like she's groovin' (see video)!
*She sits on her bottom with her legs straight out and repeatedly raises and lowers her right leg, tapping her heel on the floor.
*She likes to make hissing sounds like she's whispering.
*Sometimes she'll hold her hand up and tuck her chin down as if to say, "Thank ya. Thank ya very much." It's especially funny if she's just finished playing music on her music table.
THINGS THAT MAKE BEULAH LAUGH/SMILE
*When she hears Daddy's keys in the door, she looks at me and smiles and then crawls as fast as she can to the door. Precious!
*Beulah has had the opportunity to spend time with both our families over the holidays, and recognizes them enough now to get really excited when she sees her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. So sweet.
Beulah's first Christmas was awesome! We were in GA, and of course, she was the center of attention. Eight to nine months is the perfect age for Christmas and opening presents (see video). She didn't understand why she couldn't eat the paper, but she loved tearing it and climbing on (or in) the boxes (see pictures and video). Again, who needs toys?! Actually, I never really considered how important toys are to a child's development before Beulah, but it's amazing to see how they help her accomplish new skills everyday. Beulah's new favorite toy is her Learn & Groove Musical Table by Leap Frog (see pictures and video). It is SO fun to watch her cruise around the table playing with the different instruments. It has really helped strengthen her legs and back as she stands at the table to play, not to mention her hand-eye coordination and understanding of cause and effect. This is by far my favorite toy of hers. I would recommend it to anyone with a child 7+ months old.
Beulah also got a walker to push around the room (see video). She's doing really good! It won't be long now before she starts taking steps on her own! She's really good at cruising from one piece of furniture to another, and sometimes she lets go for a second or two! She also climbed the stairs at her Uncle Mike and Aunt Ria's! Thanks to her other toys from friends and family, she's also learned to put objects into a container, and even plays games with us. She'll play peek-a-boo with her bib, pulling it up over her face until she hears, "Where's Beulah?" at which time she pulls it down and laughs. So fun!! She learned another game from her Paw Paw (my dad). He rolled her little miniature wagon around, and each time it passed her she'd either put her toy in it or take it out. She will also offer me her spoon, which I take with my mouth, then I offer it back to her. It's a fun, hands free game we like to play. She's learned to mimic certain gestures, like waving, clapping, and sticking out her tongue, and she can respond to instruction. She claps and waves when we ask her to, and she stops when she hears us say, "No!" "Danger!" or "Not for baby!"
CUTE THINGS BEULAH DOES (besides everything mentioned above!)
*Beulah will pull up on something (usually her music table), and start bobbin' her head like she's groovin' (see video)!
*She sits on her bottom with her legs straight out and repeatedly raises and lowers her right leg, tapping her heel on the floor.
*She likes to make hissing sounds like she's whispering.
*Sometimes she'll hold her hand up and tuck her chin down as if to say, "Thank ya. Thank ya very much." It's especially funny if she's just finished playing music on her music table.
THINGS THAT MAKE BEULAH LAUGH/SMILE
*When she hears Daddy's keys in the door, she looks at me and smiles and then crawls as fast as she can to the door. Precious!
*Beulah has had the opportunity to spend time with both our families over the holidays, and recognizes them enough now to get really excited when she sees her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. So sweet.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Beulah, 8 Months!
What a difference a month makes! This stage in a baby's development must be the most fun, because it seems that new things are happening everyday. Her newfound mobility broadens her world and makes her boundaries limitless; that is until mama stops her from doing something that might hurt her. But, despite my efforts to protect her, I've learned that bumps and bruises are inevitable at this stage; especially if I turn my back for one second. In fact, she fell off the bed at her Nana & Pop Pop's house over Thanksgiving. She was laying on her back in the middle of the bed, so I bent down to get her pants to put on her when I heard a thud followed by a loud cry. Ugh. There's no worse sound in a mother's life. She's OK, of course. Thank God! But, we spend a lot more time on the floor these days, and I have become pretty skilled at changing a diaper while she's rolling or crawling away. I'm lucky if I have any kind of strap or tag nearby to occupy her. She likes those much more than any toy she has.
Everyday Andy and I talk about how joyful she is. When I asked him if there was anything in particular that he'd like for me to mention in her 8 month post, he said, "just her sweet disposition." When I describe her, I say, "She's just delightful!" She LOVES to go places and see people. I'm pretty sure she's an extrovert, because when she's around people she's super happy and hardly ever thinks about sleeping or eating. But, when the people are gone, she comes crashing down.
NEW THINGS BEULAH CAN DO
*crawling on hands and knees (see video)
*pulling up! (see video)
*claps hands (see video)
*She's making much more sophisticated sounds and letter combinations. Sometimes I hear "words" like "boosh" or "this", and sometimes she makes a hissing sound. I heard her make sounds with every letter, except maybe "c", "k", and "q".
FIRSTS
*Beulah got her first tooth!! Two actually! Her two bottom, front teeth are peeking through. I haven't gotten a picture because everytime she opens her mouth, her tongue covers it up.
*Beulah saw the ocean for the first time over Thanksgiving! While visiting Andy's parents in FL, we went to St. Augustine for a day. It was COLD, so she didn't get in the water. But, since she falls asleep to ocean waves on her sound machine every night, she fell asleep as we walked to the sound of real ocean waves. :)
*Beulah met a large number of her extended family over Thanksgiving in FL.
CUTE THINGS BEULAH DOES
*Sometimes when we make eye contact, she'll just laugh out of the blue. Love it!
*While sitting on her bottom, she bounces from her pelvis while flapping her arms up and down. (see video)
*After she wakes up, she peeks through the slats in the crib at us when we come in and squeals with excitement.
*Sometimes she'll cover her ears with her hands. Unfortunately, the first time she did it was when she was being introduced to her adult cousin for the first time. :)
*She holds her bottle with her hands AND feet. (see picture)
* She chews on and rolls her tongue. The most common comments we get from strangers are about her blue eyes or her tongue.
*She's been "blowing raspberries" with her lips for a while, but now she does it with her tongue too.
*She sits "cris-cross" (or "Indian style" if you're from my generation or before).
*She pats my shoulder when I pick her up or while she's nursing.
*While laying tummy to tummy when nursing, she tries to stand and bend forward to nurse.
*Sometimes while nursing, she rubs her feet together really fast.
THINGS THAT MAKE BEULAH SMILE/LAUGH
*When she bangs things together, she smiles. (see video)
And now for even more videos than last month!
shaker = teething tabs
symbol = lid from toilet paper holder
creative inspiration = blinds?
Everyday Andy and I talk about how joyful she is. When I asked him if there was anything in particular that he'd like for me to mention in her 8 month post, he said, "just her sweet disposition." When I describe her, I say, "She's just delightful!" She LOVES to go places and see people. I'm pretty sure she's an extrovert, because when she's around people she's super happy and hardly ever thinks about sleeping or eating. But, when the people are gone, she comes crashing down.
NEW THINGS BEULAH CAN DO
*crawling on hands and knees (see video)
*pulling up! (see video)
*claps hands (see video)
*She's making much more sophisticated sounds and letter combinations. Sometimes I hear "words" like "boosh" or "this", and sometimes she makes a hissing sound. I heard her make sounds with every letter, except maybe "c", "k", and "q".
FIRSTS
*Beulah got her first tooth!! Two actually! Her two bottom, front teeth are peeking through. I haven't gotten a picture because everytime she opens her mouth, her tongue covers it up.
*Beulah saw the ocean for the first time over Thanksgiving! While visiting Andy's parents in FL, we went to St. Augustine for a day. It was COLD, so she didn't get in the water. But, since she falls asleep to ocean waves on her sound machine every night, she fell asleep as we walked to the sound of real ocean waves. :)
*Beulah met a large number of her extended family over Thanksgiving in FL.
CUTE THINGS BEULAH DOES
*Sometimes when we make eye contact, she'll just laugh out of the blue. Love it!
*While sitting on her bottom, she bounces from her pelvis while flapping her arms up and down. (see video)
*After she wakes up, she peeks through the slats in the crib at us when we come in and squeals with excitement.
*Sometimes she'll cover her ears with her hands. Unfortunately, the first time she did it was when she was being introduced to her adult cousin for the first time. :)
*She holds her bottle with her hands AND feet. (see picture)
* She chews on and rolls her tongue. The most common comments we get from strangers are about her blue eyes or her tongue.
*She's been "blowing raspberries" with her lips for a while, but now she does it with her tongue too.
*She sits "cris-cross" (or "Indian style" if you're from my generation or before).
*She pats my shoulder when I pick her up or while she's nursing.
*While laying tummy to tummy when nursing, she tries to stand and bend forward to nurse.
*Sometimes while nursing, she rubs her feet together really fast.
THINGS THAT MAKE BEULAH SMILE/LAUGH
*When she bangs things together, she smiles. (see video)
And now for even more videos than last month!
shaker = teething tabs
symbol = lid from toilet paper holder
creative inspiration = blinds?
Monday, November 16, 2009
My Breakup with TV
When I was little, silence scared me. I needed sounds to keep me company. Not creepy, random sounds that I couldn't control, like acorns falling on the roof, leaves rustling outside, or cars backfiring. (Hey! I'm from GA!) I needed people sounds. If I was busy, the radio was sufficient. But, since I am a visual person, I always preferred TV. We only had channels 2, 5, 8, 11, 17, and 36 back then. The fact that I can remember that is evidence that I loved TV. I knew what came on almost every half hour of the day and what channel it came on. I had my own personal TV schedule. I didn't always watch it while it was on, but it was nice to hear people talking and be able to look up to see them if I wanted to.
As a teenager and now as an adult, I have a very small library of movies that I like to pop in while I'm cleaning to keep me company; Ever After, My Best Friend's Wedding, Shakespeare in Love, Finding Nemo, Jonah and the Big Fish, etc. They are all light hearted, feel good movies, or as some would say "chick flicks". Our friend Ronnie always called them "U rated" (U=uterus). The sounds, the predictability, the feel...they all make me happy. It's an escape. It's a vice. When I was forced to be inactive during my neck injury and surgery, I watched every single episode of The Golden Girls. It came on three times a day, and I didn't miss it. Sure, there were other shows too, but Dorothy, Sophia, Rose and Blanch were my real friends. They were always there when I needed them to make me laugh.
When I was pregnant, I was home alone a lot on days when I was not subbing. I do NOT like being alone. I am an extrovert. I get sad when I'm alone, and get energized when I'm around people. So, while everyone else was working, I had the TV on. It was my friend. It entertained me, taught me, kept me connected with the world around me, etc. So, after Beulah was born, when I was going through PPD, the TV continued to keep me company.
Today Show--until 11 AM, NBC
Cosby Show--11-12 PM, Channel 8
Fresh Prince--12-12:30 PM, Channel 8
Reading Rainbow--12:30-1 PM, PBS Kids
Clifford the Big Red Dog--1-1:30 PM, PBS Kids
Curious George--1:30-2 PM, PBS Kids
Trivial Pursuit--2-3 PM, Channel 10
The Doctors--3-4 PM, NBC
Oprah (because there was nothing else on)--4-4:30 PM, ABC
Jeopardy--4:30-5 PM, NBC
Ellen--5-6 PM, NBC
Scrubs--6-6:30 PM, Channel 8
Deal or No Deal--6:30-7 PM, Channel 12
Jeopardy--7-7:30 PM, NBC
Wheel of Fortune--7:30-8:00 PM, NBC
8:00-10ish depended on the day--Chuck, Biggest Loser, SYTYCD, American Idol, The Office, etc.
You can see why this was a problem. The TV was on from morning to night. If I went into another room to do something, I even turned the TV on in there, sometimes for just a minute or two. It was a compulsion, and addiction. With a schedule like that, there's no time for a quiet devotional or listening to God (*sarcasm*). (No wonder I was depressed!)
As most babies do, Beulah loves the TV. She loves the sounds and moving images. There are certain commercials she will always turn to see, even if she's busy playing with her back to the TV. When she hears it, she turns and watches it. If I want to keep her busy while I try to clean or eat, I put in The Wiggles. She will actually laugh at Dorothy the Dinosaur! It cracks me up!
Sure, this may not be a problem now, but I can see how it could be down the road. Even if we're watching a "kid friendly" show, commercials are unpredictable and sometimes raunchy! Have ya seen the soft porn Hardee's or Victoria's Secret commercials? I mean, COME ON!! Those commercials come on in the daytime when kids are watching TV! And, Lord knows Beulah shouldn't be watching what comes on the TV guide channel! From celebrity gossip to Punk'd to Flava Flav and his brothel! ADULTS shouldn't even be watching that junk, trash, gross, nasty, yucky stuff!!
So, here I am complaining about what comes on TV. But, I have a choice. I can turn it off. Before we had Beulah, we went to some friends' house for dinner. Jeanne and David have two elementary aged kids. The TV was not on, and was not the center point of the living room. Over dinner they told us that they record a few shows that they feel comfortable with their kids watching, and edit out the commercials before the kids watch it! And, they always preview a show before they'll start recording it on a regular basis. In fact, when their oldest was around seven years old, they had a rare night where they watched TV while it was being broadcast. When the commercials came on, the kids said, "What is that? What happened to the show?!" They didn't even know what a commercial was!! We LOVED it! We talked about doing something similar.
I always admired my friend Anna because when I went to her house, her TV was NEVER on. From the time her baby was born (and probably before), she played classical or Christian music softly in the background. She also read her Bible while she nursed and prayed for friends and family with her infant baby. She would say to me, "Me and Hanney (Hannah) just prayed for you!" I was blown away!
My friend Deanna doesn't even HAVE a TV!
So, it's time for a change. After a long and happy love affair, I'm breaking up with TV. Today is our first day apart. I'm sure I'll watch a little while Beulah's napping, but I've downloaded a ton of children's Bible songs, classical music, and other children's music to play while she's awake. We may watch some game shows when Daddy gets home, but I want us to be more careful about what's on, especially now that Beulah's going to be picking up so much so fast.
I don't want to break up. I LOVE TV. Please pray for me to be strong. Pray that God will keep me company. Pray that I'll meditate on the things of God and spend my time filling Beulah's eyes and ears with things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8), rather than things of the world. I hope to keep up with the news via the internet. Pray that I won't plunge myself into a new addiction with the computer (which I have done in the past).
And, just for a laugh, this is Beulah's favorite commercial. Go figure! I'll have to let her watch it on the computer from time to time just to make her smile. :)
As a teenager and now as an adult, I have a very small library of movies that I like to pop in while I'm cleaning to keep me company; Ever After, My Best Friend's Wedding, Shakespeare in Love, Finding Nemo, Jonah and the Big Fish, etc. They are all light hearted, feel good movies, or as some would say "chick flicks". Our friend Ronnie always called them "U rated" (U=uterus). The sounds, the predictability, the feel...they all make me happy. It's an escape. It's a vice. When I was forced to be inactive during my neck injury and surgery, I watched every single episode of The Golden Girls. It came on three times a day, and I didn't miss it. Sure, there were other shows too, but Dorothy, Sophia, Rose and Blanch were my real friends. They were always there when I needed them to make me laugh.
When I was pregnant, I was home alone a lot on days when I was not subbing. I do NOT like being alone. I am an extrovert. I get sad when I'm alone, and get energized when I'm around people. So, while everyone else was working, I had the TV on. It was my friend. It entertained me, taught me, kept me connected with the world around me, etc. So, after Beulah was born, when I was going through PPD, the TV continued to keep me company.
Today Show--until 11 AM, NBC
Cosby Show--11-12 PM, Channel 8
Fresh Prince--12-12:30 PM, Channel 8
Reading Rainbow--12:30-1 PM, PBS Kids
Clifford the Big Red Dog--1-1:30 PM, PBS Kids
Curious George--1:30-2 PM, PBS Kids
Trivial Pursuit--2-3 PM, Channel 10
The Doctors--3-4 PM, NBC
Oprah (because there was nothing else on)--4-4:30 PM, ABC
Jeopardy--4:30-5 PM, NBC
Ellen--5-6 PM, NBC
Scrubs--6-6:30 PM, Channel 8
Deal or No Deal--6:30-7 PM, Channel 12
Jeopardy--7-7:30 PM, NBC
Wheel of Fortune--7:30-8:00 PM, NBC
8:00-10ish depended on the day--Chuck, Biggest Loser, SYTYCD, American Idol, The Office, etc.
You can see why this was a problem. The TV was on from morning to night. If I went into another room to do something, I even turned the TV on in there, sometimes for just a minute or two. It was a compulsion, and addiction. With a schedule like that, there's no time for a quiet devotional or listening to God (*sarcasm*). (No wonder I was depressed!)
As most babies do, Beulah loves the TV. She loves the sounds and moving images. There are certain commercials she will always turn to see, even if she's busy playing with her back to the TV. When she hears it, she turns and watches it. If I want to keep her busy while I try to clean or eat, I put in The Wiggles. She will actually laugh at Dorothy the Dinosaur! It cracks me up!
Sure, this may not be a problem now, but I can see how it could be down the road. Even if we're watching a "kid friendly" show, commercials are unpredictable and sometimes raunchy! Have ya seen the soft porn Hardee's or Victoria's Secret commercials? I mean, COME ON!! Those commercials come on in the daytime when kids are watching TV! And, Lord knows Beulah shouldn't be watching what comes on the TV guide channel! From celebrity gossip to Punk'd to Flava Flav and his brothel! ADULTS shouldn't even be watching that junk, trash, gross, nasty, yucky stuff!!
So, here I am complaining about what comes on TV. But, I have a choice. I can turn it off. Before we had Beulah, we went to some friends' house for dinner. Jeanne and David have two elementary aged kids. The TV was not on, and was not the center point of the living room. Over dinner they told us that they record a few shows that they feel comfortable with their kids watching, and edit out the commercials before the kids watch it! And, they always preview a show before they'll start recording it on a regular basis. In fact, when their oldest was around seven years old, they had a rare night where they watched TV while it was being broadcast. When the commercials came on, the kids said, "What is that? What happened to the show?!" They didn't even know what a commercial was!! We LOVED it! We talked about doing something similar.
I always admired my friend Anna because when I went to her house, her TV was NEVER on. From the time her baby was born (and probably before), she played classical or Christian music softly in the background. She also read her Bible while she nursed and prayed for friends and family with her infant baby. She would say to me, "Me and Hanney (Hannah) just prayed for you!" I was blown away!
My friend Deanna doesn't even HAVE a TV!
So, it's time for a change. After a long and happy love affair, I'm breaking up with TV. Today is our first day apart. I'm sure I'll watch a little while Beulah's napping, but I've downloaded a ton of children's Bible songs, classical music, and other children's music to play while she's awake. We may watch some game shows when Daddy gets home, but I want us to be more careful about what's on, especially now that Beulah's going to be picking up so much so fast.
I don't want to break up. I LOVE TV. Please pray for me to be strong. Pray that God will keep me company. Pray that I'll meditate on the things of God and spend my time filling Beulah's eyes and ears with things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8), rather than things of the world. I hope to keep up with the news via the internet. Pray that I won't plunge myself into a new addiction with the computer (which I have done in the past).
And, just for a laugh, this is Beulah's favorite commercial. Go figure! I'll have to let her watch it on the computer from time to time just to make her smile. :)
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Beulah, 7 Months!
My Boo is 7 months old today! Everyday Andy and I say to each other, "She is awesome!" We are overwhelmed by the blessing of having Beulah in our lives. There is not much more exciting than watching a human being accomplish something she couldn't the day before. She has grown into such a happy and delightful little girl.
Many people have said that Beulah looks more and more like me the older she gets. I love it that she crinkles her nose when she smiles, because I do that too (see pictures below). She also loves to stretch her body like me when she wakes up. Andy loves to watch the two of us do our morning stretches together. The crazy thing is, she naturally stretches the exact same way I do! She's growing like a weed, so we had to raise her jumper because her legs have gotten so long. When she stands on my lap, her head is higher than mine!
Beulah's sleeping continues to get better and better. She's now taking at least two 2 + hour naps a day. And, even better, she sleeps for 11 hour stretches at night, only waking once or twice! Several nights she has slept seven hours straight before waking up, and then went right back to sleep! Praise the Lord! We are ALL doing SO much better these days!
NEW THINGS BEULAH CAN DO
*She's crawling!! (see video below) Andy's mom said Andy crawled the exact same way when he was a baby. This morning she crawled all the way across the living room to get to me! My heart was so full!
*She babbles M's, D's, and B's. If she wants something, all she has to do is babble a "Ma ma", and I'll do whatever she wants. :)
*She can pull up half-way (to her knees)!
FIRSTS
*solid foods: sweet potatoes, carrots, green beans, squash and corn. Carrots are her favorite.
*She had her first cold. Fortunately it was a short, two day cold.
CUTE THINGS BEULAH DOES
*She gives me kisses! Well, actually, she puts her wide-open mouth to mine, smiles, and licks my mouth. Oh well...it's sweet and I love it!
*She raises both her arms above her head, and we say, "so big!"
*She lays on her back, holding her feet in her hands, and opens her legs straight out to each side.
*She sits on her bottom and leans forward to suck her toes. (see video below) Hilarious!
*Sometimes she'll play while her legs are in a straddle split. (see picture below)
*She'll look at her hand while opening and closing it repeatedly.
THINGS THAT MAKE BEULAH SMILE/LAUGH
*She always smiles when mama blows her kisses or makes kissey faces across the room.
*Our amateur beat boxing always makes her happy.
*Her best laughs come when we munch her belly or her neck. (see video)
*She loves to go places and steals the show when she flashes her smiles and blue eyes at passers-by.
It seems that Beulah will have a pretty strong personality. She can be very feisty and determined. She'll throw a toy when she's finished playing with it. And, if she doesn't want you to do something, she will PUSH you away from her. Sometimes I feel like I'm wrestling with her when I put her shirt on. Often I just have to pin her arms down! But, if she wants something, she's going to go for it, and you better be ready. Last Wednesday I wasn't ready. I was standing while holding her when she turned and threw her weight back. She fell back against the arm of the chair and because I was still holding her legs, she continued to fall until her HEAD stopped on the floor. I immediately dropped to my knees while holding her close and started praying that God would protect her, heal her, spare her... When she calmed down, I nursed her and saw that her mouth was bleeding. That was the greatest moment of horror I've ever experienced. Andy and I checked her out and couldn't find the source of the blood. But, by then she was smiling and acting normal. We're guessing her gums smacked together and that's what caused the blood. That or something was really wrong and God had mercy and healed her on the spot! I wouldn't doubt it! People keep saying, "It happens to everybody!" But, I can't say that makes me feel any better.
Since I dropped her, I've been much more cautious. But, unfortunately, that doesn't keep things from happening to a mobile baby. The next morning she leaned forward in the tub and sucked water up her nose and mouth. That afternoon she was sitting in the floor and leaned forward to reach for something and hit her head on a door frame. She constantly crawls towards cords, and is not afraid to throw herself towards whatever she wants. Yesterday she was sitting with me on the bed, and Andy came over to sit with us while he was brushing his teeth. In a matter of a split second, she "leapt" out of my arms and across the bed, reaching for his tooth brush. We were both in shock. Thankfully she didn't get hurt because she was on the bed. Whew! The ol' ticker can't take it! Andy said, "Honey, you better get used to this." I told him that I think she's trying to kill herself!
Despite the bumps and bruises, it is such a joy to parent this child and watch her grow. Thank you, God, for allowing me to be her mama.
Many people have said that Beulah looks more and more like me the older she gets. I love it that she crinkles her nose when she smiles, because I do that too (see pictures below). She also loves to stretch her body like me when she wakes up. Andy loves to watch the two of us do our morning stretches together. The crazy thing is, she naturally stretches the exact same way I do! She's growing like a weed, so we had to raise her jumper because her legs have gotten so long. When she stands on my lap, her head is higher than mine!
Beulah's sleeping continues to get better and better. She's now taking at least two 2 + hour naps a day. And, even better, she sleeps for 11 hour stretches at night, only waking once or twice! Several nights she has slept seven hours straight before waking up, and then went right back to sleep! Praise the Lord! We are ALL doing SO much better these days!
NEW THINGS BEULAH CAN DO
*She's crawling!! (see video below) Andy's mom said Andy crawled the exact same way when he was a baby. This morning she crawled all the way across the living room to get to me! My heart was so full!
*She babbles M's, D's, and B's. If she wants something, all she has to do is babble a "Ma ma", and I'll do whatever she wants. :)
*She can pull up half-way (to her knees)!
FIRSTS
*solid foods: sweet potatoes, carrots, green beans, squash and corn. Carrots are her favorite.
*She had her first cold. Fortunately it was a short, two day cold.
CUTE THINGS BEULAH DOES
*She gives me kisses! Well, actually, she puts her wide-open mouth to mine, smiles, and licks my mouth. Oh well...it's sweet and I love it!
*She raises both her arms above her head, and we say, "so big!"
*She lays on her back, holding her feet in her hands, and opens her legs straight out to each side.
*She sits on her bottom and leans forward to suck her toes. (see video below) Hilarious!
*Sometimes she'll play while her legs are in a straddle split. (see picture below)
*She'll look at her hand while opening and closing it repeatedly.
THINGS THAT MAKE BEULAH SMILE/LAUGH
*She always smiles when mama blows her kisses or makes kissey faces across the room.
*Our amateur beat boxing always makes her happy.
*Her best laughs come when we munch her belly or her neck. (see video)
*She loves to go places and steals the show when she flashes her smiles and blue eyes at passers-by.
It seems that Beulah will have a pretty strong personality. She can be very feisty and determined. She'll throw a toy when she's finished playing with it. And, if she doesn't want you to do something, she will PUSH you away from her. Sometimes I feel like I'm wrestling with her when I put her shirt on. Often I just have to pin her arms down! But, if she wants something, she's going to go for it, and you better be ready. Last Wednesday I wasn't ready. I was standing while holding her when she turned and threw her weight back. She fell back against the arm of the chair and because I was still holding her legs, she continued to fall until her HEAD stopped on the floor. I immediately dropped to my knees while holding her close and started praying that God would protect her, heal her, spare her... When she calmed down, I nursed her and saw that her mouth was bleeding. That was the greatest moment of horror I've ever experienced. Andy and I checked her out and couldn't find the source of the blood. But, by then she was smiling and acting normal. We're guessing her gums smacked together and that's what caused the blood. That or something was really wrong and God had mercy and healed her on the spot! I wouldn't doubt it! People keep saying, "It happens to everybody!" But, I can't say that makes me feel any better.
Since I dropped her, I've been much more cautious. But, unfortunately, that doesn't keep things from happening to a mobile baby. The next morning she leaned forward in the tub and sucked water up her nose and mouth. That afternoon she was sitting in the floor and leaned forward to reach for something and hit her head on a door frame. She constantly crawls towards cords, and is not afraid to throw herself towards whatever she wants. Yesterday she was sitting with me on the bed, and Andy came over to sit with us while he was brushing his teeth. In a matter of a split second, she "leapt" out of my arms and across the bed, reaching for his tooth brush. We were both in shock. Thankfully she didn't get hurt because she was on the bed. Whew! The ol' ticker can't take it! Andy said, "Honey, you better get used to this." I told him that I think she's trying to kill herself!
Despite the bumps and bruises, it is such a joy to parent this child and watch her grow. Thank you, God, for allowing me to be her mama.
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